Formal letter - pls. look through for mistakes

[popsie]

You are studying at an English language school in Britain. Nigel Richardson, the Principal, has written to all students in the school, asking for comments and suggestions on the social programme.

Dear Mr Richardson,

I am writing to tell you my opinions about a social programme.

Firstly, the sightseeing tour is considered to be a great choice. The city was wonderful. I am an history lover so I really appreciated it. On the other hand, I do not understand the Modern Art at all, so I would rather miss this exhibition.

Secondly, I would recommend having a disco on Saturday. The main reason is that the next day is Sunday, so we can sleep late. We do not have to wake up early to school. You have also asked how we could help next month. I offer my hand. I would prefer the Games Day. I am keen on playing football, volleyball or something like that – with ball. I could be a referee, if you like.

Lastly, why do not we do a barbeque in our school garden. We could change our addresses and phone numbers while we are eating and drinking. In case of bad weather we could move to the gym and have a disco inside.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

David Danielson

[Anglika]

You are studying at an English language school in Britain. Nigel Richardson, the Principal, has written to all students in the school, asking for comments and suggestions on the social programme.

Dear Mr Richardson,

I am writing to tell you my opinions about the social programme.

Firstly, the sightseeing tour is considered to be a great choice. The city was wonderful. I am an history lover so I really appreciated it. On the other hand, I do not understand the [omit] Modern Art at all, so I would rather miss this exhibition.

Secondly, I would recommend having a disco on Saturday. The main reason is that the next day is Sunday, so we can sleep late. We do not have to wake up early to for school. You have also asked how we could help next month. I offer my hand.[This does not make sense - Do you mean I can offer some assistance/I would like to help ?] I would prefer the Games Day. I am keen on playing football, volleyball or something like that – with ball[omit]. I could be a referee, if you like.

Lastly, why do not we have a barbeque in our school garden. We could exchange our addresses and phone numbers while we are eating and drinking. In case of bad weather we could move to the gym and have a disco inside.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

David Danielson

0

[popsie]

You have also asked how we could help next month. I offer my hand.

Could I replace it as following : I offer my hand to you next month.

Thanks so much for your time.

[Anglika]

You have also asked how we could help next month. I offer my hand.

Could I replace it as following : I offer my hand to you next month.

Thanks so much for your time.

Not really - that structure is a proposal of marriage

You could say "Can I give you a hand next month?" "Can I help you next month?"

[popsie]

Yeah ... I see :)

Thanks a lot!