Please help me with my essay (contrast and comparison)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by amona86

Bahrain and Japan both have their traditional clothes, they wear them in special celebrations .For example: national day.

What you have there is two independent clauses (sentences) joined by a comma. (That is called a comma fault.) There are (at least) two ways to write that. One:

Bahrain and Japan both have their traditional clothes, which they wear for special celebrations. (For example: National Day.)

Two:

Bahrain and Japan both have their traditional clothes. They wear them for special celebrations. (For example: National Day.)

Originally Posted by amona86

Bahrain traditional clothes is" bekhneg" and Japanese's traditional clothes is "kimono" which both can be wore by young and adults.

Originally Posted by amona86

Bahrain's traditional costume is the bekhneg and Japan's traditional costume is the kimino, which can be worn by both children and adults.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by amona86

Comparing Bahrain and Japan can result in geographical similarities, similarities in food, but also it results with differences in the language, and the governance. These similarities and differences play major role in defining the relationship between these countries. Differences can be avoided in many ways, so both countries can be culturally merged.

Comparing two countries does not result in (cause) similarities of any kind. The only result of comparing two countries is a comparison. Their similarities and their differences do indeed play a major role in defining the relationship between two countries. I cannot make sense out of that last sentence, so I have no suggestions.

[amona86]

MartinMATOMartin thank you a lot :)

RonBee thank you again for your help

the last paragraph is the conclusion which we have to follow some techniques such as summarizing , suggestion , opinion , restating

so i was trying to restate the whole essay !! what do you thing ??

last sentence I was trying to say that even with these differences they can be collaborate together in many fields, especially cultural exchange ( knowledge ,.. etc)

in the red words , i add quotations is that ok !!

Bahrain and Japan

Bahrain is totally different from Japan. They are the two most different countries that can be found all over the world. In fact this is not true, because both differences and similarities can be found between Bahrain and Japan. There are three main similarities as well as three main differences among these two countries.

Bahrain and Japan share many similarities which three of them can be spotted easily. Firstly, Both Bahrain and Japan are archipelagos consisting of many islands. Bahrain's local food comes from the sea such as fish and prawn and the most of Japan's food comes from the sea, too. Bahrain and Japan both have their traditional clothes. They wear them for special celebrations. For example: National Day. Bahrain'straditional costume is the" bekhneg" and Japan's traditional costume is the "kimono", which can be worn by both children and adults.

There are three main differences we can find between Bahrain and Japan. Bahrain consists of very small islands, whereas Japan islands are big. A major difference between the two countries has to do with language. In Bahrain the primary language is Arabic, which is spoken in many countries. In Japan the primary language is Japanese, which is spoken only in Japan. Another difference has to do with governance. Bahrain is a kingdom governed by a king through a hereditary system. Japan is a constitutional monarchy. What that means is that the emperor is the symbol of state but he has no real power. The real power resides in the (legislature) and prime minister.

Comparing Bahrain and Japan can result in geographical similarities, similarities in food, but also it results with differences in the language, and the governance. These similarities and differences play major role in defining the relationship between these countries. Differences can be avoided in many ways, so both countries can be culturally merged.

[RonBee]

I don't see why you need the quote marks. Also, I don't think differences can be avoided. (Perhaps they can be surmounted, but they cannot be avoided.) Certainly, it would make sense to say that countires can have diplomatic relationships (and other relationships) despite their differences. Indeed, people in different countries often have relationships because of their differences (trade, for example). As for countries merging culturally, I don't think that is what you are trying to say.

[amona86]

Well, I'm with you..

I was just trying to end up with appropriate conclusion, so I well change it because it doesn't make any sense :)

Comparing among Bahrain and Japan can result in geographical similarities, similarities in food, but also it results with differences in the language, and the governance. These similarities and differences play major role in defining the relationship between these countries. I believe that with these similarities and surmount these differences both Bahrain and Japan could be able to collaborate successfully in many fields.


Is it ok now??! : )

[RonBee]

How about:

When we compare Bahrain and Japan we find that there are geographical similarities between the two countries and also similarities in the food consumed in those countries. We also find differences in language and governance. These similarities and differences play a major role in defining the relationship between these countries. The people of Japan and the people of Bahrain have many differences, but they also have much in common, and they are able to collaborate successfully in many areas.

[MartinMATOMartin]

Originally Posted by RonBee

How about:

When we compare Bahrain and Japan we find that there are geographical similarities between the two countries and also similarities in the food consumed in these (instead of those because once it's written "these" at the end of the conclusion) countries. We also find differences in language and governance. These similarities and differences play a major role in defining the relationship between these countries. The people of Japan and the people of Bahrain have many differences, but they also have much in common, and they are able to collaborate successfully in many areas.

I believe the change in the quote should be considered ....

[amona86]

RonBee thank you , i like the way you write my conclusion :)


thank you MartinMATOMartin ,,

but i'm confusing now !! which is better thoes or these as MartinMATOMartin said !!


i'm not good in grammer

so is it ok in both cases !! or what , do i have to change it or!! it's ok

[amona86]

..


maybe "thoes" is appropriate because we mention bahrain and japan at the same sentences !! do i get it rigth ??

...

[RonBee]

Re:

When we compare Bahrain and Japan we find that there are geographical similarities between the two countries and also similarities in the food consumed in those countries. We also find differences in language and governance. These similarities and differences play a major role in defining the relationship between these countries. The people of Japan and the people of Bahrain have many differences, but they also have much in common, and they are able to collaborate successfully in many areas.

For the sake of consistency, you might want to change these to those. Other than that, there is nothing that needs to be changed. In fact, it's excellent! (If you still have any doubts, PM Tdol or Soup or riverkid or David L.) (PM = private message; send a private message.)