My public speaking - please advice

[hampeh]

Dear teachers and friends,

I’m going to present a public speaking soon. The book we used in the class is The Art of Public Speaking 9th Edition by Stephen E. Lucas. Here is the draft of the introduction. We are required to present it in about one to two minutes. Your advice and comments on this matter would be very much appreciated.

TOPIC : COMPUTER HACKING

GENERAL PURPOSE : TO INFORM

SPECIFIC PURPOSE : To inform my audience the factors that could lead a hacker to attack and compromise your computers, servers, networks, and network devices.

GREETINGS

Good evening to teacher and my fellow friends. (Should I say anything else)

CENTRAL IDEA

A common misconception of many computer users is that their machine is not important enough to be hacked. They think, “But, I don’t have anything important on my machine, who would want to hack me?”
This type of user is exactly who hackers want to hack. Why? Because hacking is easy. And usually, the hacker’s ultimate goal is not the machine he or she has hacked, but other, more important machine, such as governments, militaries, and financial organizations.

ESTABLISH CREDIBILITY

I have been interested with computer security for several years and I have read a lot of books and articles about it. With my experience on network security dealing with internet vulnerabilities and threats such as viruses, trojans, network worms and hackers, that’s why I am speaking about it in order to create an awareness among the audience.

SPECIFIC PURPOSE

Therefore, today I would like to share and inform all of you about the factors that could lead a hacker to attack and compromise your computers, servers, networks, and network devices.

CLOSING

That’s it from me. Thank you.

[jvf]

Hi,

I think it looks good. I'd just pluralize "machine" in the last sentence under Central Idea - otherwise, your English looks good.

I posted an article a while back that can help you with Public speaking when English is your second language. You can read it at Public Speaking Tips: Five Tips for ESL (English as a Second Language) Speakers | Overnight Sensation

Good luck with your talk,

James
htp://blog.jvf.com