The Pearl Industry [causes and Effects]

[amona86]

this semester we have to submit 4 essays

this is the third essay about causes and effects :)

I need check on it in all respects :) specially the capitalisation

Pearls industry

Under the water, he is diving and continues much deeper. Either he may come up, or he may not until he finds that shining pearl. Why is he risking his life there?? For a little pearl! As a matter of fact, he has to. His mind is busy thinking about his kids and his woman waiting for him on the shore, to come back with some coins to fill their poorly life. There are many causes for the popularity of the pearl industry. Aso there are many effects and also many causes for the drop of the pearls industry after that in Bahrain.

Pearl industry in Bahrain began in the far past due to many reasons. First of all, Bahrain is an archipelago. The water around Bahrain is warm and appropriate for high quality pearls. The Pearl trade was very popular and expensive. Consequently merchants become so wealthy. Since Bahraini people have no other steady jobs to take care of their family, they become divers and took all risks for just few coins to pay their debts. Therefore, there were many divers who would accept this job while the benefit would be in the hand of the "Nokhatha", the merchant and the master of the ship.

There are many effects which emerged during the successful period of the pearl industry. Gulf countries produced half of the international gross product of the pearls. Consequently, Europe tried to get the rights to hunt for pearls in the Gulf, but they failed. Since Bahrain exports pearls, it created a new trade in it in association with offshore countries such as India. In fact, it was more than pearl trade because they brought with them many of the other countries knowledge, more convenient products and new building style. Bahrain became the trade center for north and east.

There are many causes for the declining and disappearing pearl industry. Japan discovered a new way to produce pearls, which is too close to the real ones. Therefore, the real pearls' prices declined in the Gulf. After the oil was discovered in Bahrain in 1932, the divers left the sea and went to work in the oil industry which is a safer, steadier and higher wage.

The Pearl merchants achieved its glory days because of high quality pearls and. It also has had many effects on the Bahraini people. However, its glory days ended by reason of two main causes, the Japanese pearls and the oil discovery. In my opinion, I believe even if there are competitive pearls all around the world, the Bahraini pearls are the best qualities since the beginning.

...........

[amona86]

any help

[amona86]

a teacher today in our writting center edited it to me she was so nice and helped me

but i still want comments if any body could

[RonBee]

I changed the title to "The Pearl Industry" because that is the way it would be said. (Not "Pearls Industry") Similarly, we would say "the coal industry" or "the oil industry" (to cite two examples).

[RonBee]

Pearls industry

Under the water, he is diving and continues much deeper. Either he may come up, or he may not until he finds that shining pearl. Why is he risking his life there?? For a little pearl! As a matter of fact, he has to. His mind is busy thinking about his kids and his woman waiting for him on the shore, to come back with some coins to fill their poorly life. There are many causes for the popularity of the pearl industry. Aso there are many effects and also many causes for the drop of the pearls industry after that in Bahrain.

...........

The pearl diver dives until he finds what he is looking for. Then he comes up with a shiny little pearl. Or he may not come up at all. Why does he risk his life? So somebody somewhere can have genuine pearls? No, he risks his life to put food on the table so he and his family can eat.

[RonBee]

a teacher today in our writting center edited it to me she was so nice and helped me

Say:

A teacher at our writing center edited it for me today. She was nice and she helped me.

[RonBee]

Pearl industry in Bahrain began in the far past due to many reasons.

The pearl industry in Bahrain began in the distant past.

Tell me more about when the Bahraini pearl industry started and how it got started.

~R

[amona86]

Thank You,

there is no exact period when it's exactly began :) but we know that it since distant past


""There are many causes for the declining and disappearing pearl industry "" I can see wrong here ,

it was like that

There are many causes for the declining and disappearing of the [ the teacher at our writing center told me to remove it] pearl industry

but I cant read it there is somthing not right when I remove "of the"

can I change it into ..

There are many causes for the pearl industry declining and disappearing

[RonBee]

Try:

There are many causes for the decline of the pearl industry.

What are those causes? (The only one I can think of is the drop in demand for pearls.)

Are pearls used for anything besides jewelry?

[amona86]

I was trying to say that there are many causes affect the pearl industry in bahrain. Now there are no divers, the demand are low. which are the causes of these effects :)