Bahraini women working abroad [Argument essay]Need Help :)

[RonBee]

Despite claims to the contrary by those who are against women working abroad, women who work abroad advance much further in their careers than women who stay home.

But aren't those who are against women working abroad against women having careers in the first place?

I can't compare women who work abroad with women who stay at home

.

But isn't that exactly what you are trying to do?

What about the grammar?

Not good. You need to work on sentence structure and word choice.

[RonBee]

Bahraini women working abroad

She studies hard, and her parents provide her with all that she needs. Her one dream is to work abroad, but she is afraid to tell her parents that because she knows they will not let her do it. They assume she has everything she could ever want, and cannot understand why she would want to go far away, ignoring her obligations to her family and culture. Despite claims people who are against women working abroad, there are benefits a women can gain from that experience.

Isn't it true that the changes some believe to be positive are changes others believe to be negative and that that is what the debate is all about? In any case, you omitted what I consider the key sentence in the paragraph: "In Bahraini culture women do not consider working abroad, let alone actually do it." What that means is that Bahraini women who do work abroad are defying traditional mores. That also says that Bahraini women who work abroad are both courageous and strongly motivated to do what they do. That is because their culture does not support that choice.

[RonBee]

One of the most beneficial gains for women working abroad is the improvement that comes with the change in their personality. Women become more independent when they are free from the confines of their families. Moreover, the experience increases self-esteem. With confidence they can face and defend their values. Thus, they are no longer trapped in their thinking with the old values of their country, which exporting their potential. For example, choose a life partner.

Despite her family's feelings, she knows there are benefits to be gained from this experience. One of the most beneficial gains for women working abroad is the improvement that comes with the
change in their personalities. Women become more independent when they are free from the confines of their families. Moreover, the experience increases self-esteem. She can assess her values
without fear. She is no longer trapped in her thinking. She is no longer trapped by those traditional values which stifled her potential. The old values of her country that prohibited, for
example, her choosing a life partner are no longer a hindrance.

[RonBee]

"Working abroad gets you up the career ladder faster - especially if you are a woman struggling to break through the proverbial glass ceiling at home." According to C. Perry Yeatman and Stacie Nevadomski Berdan, the authors of Get Ahead by Going Abroad: A Woman's Guide to Fast-Track Career Success. Surly, it is a fact these days that women grow professionally when they get exposed to overseas careers. As a result, women become capable of competing with men over top jobs. In a global online survey done by the same authors” C. Perry Yeatman and Stacie Berdan” about 85 percent of 200 women who experienced working abroad agreed that their careers accelerated as a result of working abroad.

"Working abroad gets you up the career ladder faster - especially if you are a woman struggling to break through the proverbial glass ceiling at home." That is according to C. Perry Yeatman and Stacie Nevadomski Berdan, the authors of Get Ahead by Going Abroad: A Woman's Guide to Fast-Track Career Success. According to several sources, women grow professionally when they take their careers oveerseas. In a global online survey done by the same authors (C. Perry Yeatman and Stacie Berdan) about 85 percent of 200 women who experienced working abroad agreed that their careers accelerated as a result.

[RonBee]

Some opponents in Bahrain claim that women working abroad are disrespecting traditions and risking their safety.

Some Bahraini opponents of women working abroad claim that women who work abroad disrespect traditions and risk their safety.

In Bahrain, women should be responsible for their families, even if they have jobs.

In Bahrain, women are supposed to be responsible for their families even if they have jobs.

It is acceptable for women to have certain jobs, like teaching as long as they do not affront traditions. while the interpretation of traditions is personal perception and women should be treated equally in the workplace.

It is acceptable for women to have certain jobs - like teaching - as long as they do not affront traditions, while the interpretation of what is traditional is personal perception, and women should be treated equally in the workplace.

They go to work as professional ands should be treated that way.

They go to work as professionals and should be treated that way.