Essay: Prejedices and communication

[sara88]

Hello everyone
I recently wrote an essay and I tried to practice what I've learned in it. The most important thing is being able to write the controlling idea and the topic clearly as well as the concluding sentence. In addition to the unity and the coherence of the ideas of the paragraph.
So here it is:
The topic is highlited in red, the controlling idea and the concluding sentence are underlined.
tell me please what do you think about it?!
thanks a lot in advance.

Prejudice and communication

Having prejudices about other people is one of the signs of close-mindness. First of all, someone who has prejudices and seems to be convinced about them is considered to have a weak personality. For instance, when they are asked to provide relevant proofs about their fixed ideas about others; they may seem to be lost. Therefore, prejudices lead to an irrational way of thinking. Instead of being logical and rational, they will not be able to change their minds and accept the facts even though they realize that they are wrong. Furthermore, a person with prejudice can't deal successfully in communication with others. Sometimes even communication completely breaks down because of such inutilities. In brief, having prejudices is like making limits to our freedom of thought and it's also like building barriers in the way of an open communication between people.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by sara88

Hello everyone
I recently wrote an essay and I tried to practice what I've learned in it. The most important thing is being able to write the controlling idea and the topic clearly as well as the concluding sentence. In addition there should be unity and the coherence of the ideas of the paragraph.
So here it is:
The topic is highlighted in red, the controlling idea and the concluding sentence are underlined.
tell me please what do you think about it?!
thanks a lot in advance.

Prejudice and communication

Having prejudices about other people is one of the signs of closed-mindness.[..is one of the signs of a closed mind] First of all, someone who has prejudices and seems to be convinced about them is [can be] considered to have a weak personality. For instance, when they are asked to provide relevant proofs about their fixed ideas to others, they may seem to be lost. Therefore, prejudices lead to an irrational way of thinking. Instead of being logical and rational, they will not be able to change their minds and accept the facts even though they realize that they are wrong. Furthermore, a person with prejudices can't deal successfully in communication with others.[communicate successfully] Sometimes communication even completely breaks down because of such inutilities.[inability] In brief, having prejudices is like making limits to our freedom of thought [limits freedom of thought] and it's also like building [builds] barriers in the way of an open communication between people.

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There seem to me to be two topics here: prejudice about other people, which is not developed, and prejudice as a bad characteristic, which is.

[sara88]

Originally Posted by Anglika

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There seem to me to be two topics here: prejudice about other people, which is not developed, and prejudice as a bad characteristic, which is.

First, thanks Anglika for correcting my mistakes.
I was thinking about how having prejudices about others can be a barrier in the way of a good communication, as the title suggests. This can obviously include talking about it as a bad character.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by sara88

First, thanks Anglika for correcting my mistakes.
I was thinking about how having prejudices about others can be a barrier in the way of a good communication, as the title suggests. This can obviously include talking about it as a bad characteristic.

That will be an interesting development of your theme.