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  1. #1
    Roukaya's Avatar
    Roukaya is offline Member
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    Lightbulb Dear mother (poem) proofreading

    Hi,Can you please correct my poem and see if it makes sens, thank you.

    11/8/08

    Hi this another poem I had to write about my dear mother

    Dear mother,
    I see how you work hard everyday as an active busy bee in a flower.
    I see you never complain about it yet you seem to enjoy it
    I see you don’t need anyone’s reward, you know our king has all the reward for you
    I see how you don’t need anyone’s help; by this I’ve learnt independence
    I see how you understand your duty as a MOTHER
    I see when ever I do wouldn’t express what I want to say

    I wish I could hear your pains
    I wish I could carry your pains
    I wish I can make you happy

    I don’t know how to say I love
    I don’t know how to express it

    Only my lord knows how much I love
    Only my lord knows how much I appreciate the cleanness of the house

    Mother,
    You protected me against all the evil
    Even if it means risking your life.

    Mother,
    I want you to be with me forever
    I want to see your kind smiley face every morning
    I want to sleep in your lap again but only if I could

    Dearest mother,
    I know writing wont express most of my love
    But I know if I ask my lord sincerely to wish you what I wish for myself.
    Dearest mother.

  2. #2
    Roukaya's Avatar
    Roukaya is offline Member
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    Threadstarter / Original Poster

    Default Re: Dear mother (poem) proofreading

    Will anyone help me edit my poem orr not??!!!1

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