Pls give me comments of my piece of writing,tks!

[skymoon]

Thanks for giving me such a clear view about how important of the discipline in GDS. Also apology that if someone has been endured my story here. The massage has been clearly pointed out that there is no exception if one is lated to attend the PT. Besides, the gov will also take into account of if anyone if they have the merit in different circumstances.

[Raymott]

Thanks for giving me such a clear view about how important of the discipline is in GDS. Also apology that if someone has been endured my story here. The message has been clearly pointed out that there is no exception if one is lated to attending the PT. Besides, However, the government / governor (?) will also take into account of if anyone if they have the merit in different circumstances.

delete the underlined. Add the blue.

"... about how important discipline is in ..." OR
"... about the importance of discipline in ..."
GDS? PT? A good writer always spells out what she means at the first mention, after which she can use the initialism, especially if it is not obvious.
For example "I work for the Australian Broadcasting Commission (ABC). I've been with the ABC for 6 years".
"Also apology that if someone has been endured my story here." This sentence is not clear. Are you apologising for someone having to endure reading your story?
"will also take into account of if anyone if they have the merit in different circumstances."
" ...will take into account the special circumstances of anyone who merits it."
" ...will take into account the merits of any special circumstances."
" ...will take into account the merits of any difficult circumstances (preventing attendance)."