Are there any mistakes?

[Roselin]

I have tried to write something on "Education". Do you see any mistakes in my writing? If, yes, could you please point out them?

[Roselin]

I have tried to write something on Education. Do you see any mistakes in my writing ? Can you please point out them ? It goes like......

Education means an over all development of a child. Over all development means his physical, mental and social development. It’s not limited up to the bookish knowledge but, beyond that.
Man is a social animal so social development is equally important A child is required to mingle with the people, share his problems with others. After all he is a part of a society. He’ll have to live according to the norms of the society, he is living in ,and for that, he needs to be disciplined. Education teaches him how to lead a disciplined life.
Similarly a child won’t be able to learn anything if he is not physical fit. It is said that healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Games periods provide him time to release his pent up energy. A child in his growing age is very active and full of energy. This energy should be channelised in a productive way. We can keep them busy by letting them do what they want like reading, art and craft, dance, sports, acting etc.

Mental development comes when we want to develop their power of intelligence, reasoning, thinking etc. By teaching different subjects we can widen their knowledge related to geography, science, language etc. Giving them mental maths problem, we help them to increase their power of reasoning and thinking.

In a nutshell we can say that mental, social and physical development , all are important at their places. Only mental development by teaching a child in a conventional style won’t contribute to make him a successful citizen. So, a teacher should work hard and pay attention to all the three areas of development simultaneously.

[David L.]

I have tried to write something on "Education". Do you see any mistakes in my writing? If, yes, could you please point out them?

So far, so good!

Don't be shy - hit us with it.


(small point: "If (omit comma) yes, could you please..." - may be a typo.

[Roselin]

I'm so sorry. I was in hurry and without typing the matter , I clicked on submit the thread. How can I delete it? Can only moderators have right to delete the useless posts?

[David L.]

Well, if you change your mind about a post to someone else's thread, then use the delete button on the bottom right.

I'm not sure if this works when you have started the thread and there has been a post. I don't mind if you want to try.

Why not just gather your material together, and when you're ready, just add it as a post to your thread. Easy!

[Raymott]

I have tried to write something on Education. Do you see any mistakes in my writing ? Can you please point them out ? It goes like...... three dots for an ellipsis

Education means an over all development of a child. Over all development means his physical, mental and social development. It’s not limited up to the bookish academic knowledge but beyond that. [Why “his”]
Man[Humans] are social animals, so social development is equally important. A child is required to mingle with the other people, and share his problems with others. After all he is a part of a society. He’ll have to live according to the norms of the society, he is living in, and for that, he needs to be disciplined. Education teaches him how to lead a disciplined life. [Does any of this apply to girls as well?]
Similarly a child won’t be able to learn anything if he is not physical fit. It is said that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Games periods provide him time to release his pent up energy. A child in his growing age years is very active and full of energy. This energy should be channelled in a productive way. We can keep them busy by letting them do what they want, like reading, art and craft, dance, sports, acting etc. [They have suddenly become plural. It might have been better to use the plural from the beginning to avoid the awkward problem of non-inclusive writing]
Mental development comes when we want to develop their power of intelligence, reasoning, thinking etc. By teaching different subjects we can widen their knowledge related to geography, science, language etc. Giving them mental maths problems, we help them to increase their power of reasoning and thinking.
In a nutshell we can say that mental, social and physical development are all important at in their places. However, mental development only, by teaching a child in a conventional style won’t contribute to make him a successful citizen. So, a teacher should work hard and pay attention to all the three areas of development simultaneously.

Pretty good. It would have been better to use “they” throughout. There has been a revolution in West against “sexist” writing in which “he” stands for “he or she”.
Have you heard about “inclusive” writing? What do you think of the idea?

[Roselin]

I've done the correction. . I just read once, the corrections you made and after that I have written it without seeing it.
No, I haven't heard about the inclusive writing. What does it mean?

Education means an over all development of the children. Over all development means physical, mental and social development. It’s not limited to the academic knowledge but, beyond that.
Humans are social animals, so social development is equally important Children are required to mingle with other people,and share their problems with others. After all they are a part of a society. They’ll have to live according to the norms of the society, they are living in ,and for that, they needs to be disciplined. Education teaches them how to lead a disciplined life.
Similarly they won’t be able to learn anything if they aren't physically fit. It is said that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Games periods provide them time to release their pent up energy. Children in their growing years are very active and full of energy. This energy should be channelled in a productive way. We can keep them busy by letting them do what they want like reading, art and craft, dance, sports, acting etc.

Mental development comes when we want to develop their power of intelligence, reasoning, thinking etc. By teaching different subjects we can widen their knowledge related to geography, science, language etc. Giving them mental maths problems, we help them to increase their power of reasoning and thinking.

In a nutshell we can say that mental, social and physical development , all are important in their places. However, only mental development, by teaching children in a conventional style won’t contribute to make them a successful citizen. So, a teacher should work hard and pay attention to all the three areas of development simultaneously.

[Raymott]

No, I haven't heard about the inclusive writing. What does it mean?

It means basically that feminists have had a victory in a long fight to rid English writing of "sexist" or exclusive words, especially pronouns. While it's true that "he" and "Man" always used to stand for "he or she" and "Humans", now all Universities and many newspapers are avoiding such usages, and using "inclusive" pronouns like "they", which do not exclude women by subsuming them under "he" or "Man".
It is even possible to use a singular "they", which is not in all the grammar books yet, but which is firmly endorsed by academia.
An example is "If a student is not sure of what course to take, they should consult a student counsellor". Here "they" has a singular antecedent. Often it is better to rephrase the sentence, but I'd say that singular "they" is here to stay.
Of course, "inclusive" writing also means writing "police constable" instead of "policeman", "chairperson" instead of "chairman".
I don't necessarily agree with the more extreme changes, but if you write university assignments, it's not worth challenging.
Of course, regardless of all this, it's still an error to change from "he" to "they" in the middle of an essay without a good reason.