[Essay] My Childhood

[nellymar]

Dear Friend: It's my pleasure to write you and ask for help, I would like from you to correct my easy and give some advices of this.

Thanks very much in Advance,
Nelly

My Childhood
I would like to talk about some interesting experiences during my childhood. In this opportunity my tale begins since I have got 7 years old, when I started to study and share with my friends and neighbors.

First at all, I used to get up at 6.00 a.m. because I studied in the morning. Before me leaving to school I had my breakfast every day. I still have it before leaving to my office, it’s very healthy. In the afternoon after I had finished my homework and helping my mother I used to share with my friends in the neighborhood.

We enjoyed several kind of game as a hiding to each other, talking and sing our favorite songs and watch the Soup Opera together. One of the game we enjoyed most was to take the shower under the raining, for it we to put on our swimming dress, then we looked for each other in our houses, we ran around the yard while raining was falling, we enjoyed it very much.

On the other hand I remember very well a frightening thing, I was ironing clothes when I suddenly felt a big noise like a train in movement into my house. I think it lasted 5 minutes more or less. When everything had got quite, everybody got out the house yelling and crying under a big panic; one lady told in aloud voice: “It was an earthquake, please do not get into house yet”. It is the only one that I have lived in all my life.

I have a lot interesting thinks to tell about my childhood, it will take a long writing, I choose two of them. I hope they haven been enjoyable.


Writing by Nelly

[nellymar]

Hi Pen Pals, I would likeyour help to correct my eassay, Tank very much
Nelly

Originally Posted by nellymar

Dear Friend: It's my pleasure to write you and ask for help, I would like from you to correct my easy and give some advices of this.

Thanks very much in Advance,
Nelly

My Childhood
I would like to talk about some interesting experiences during my childhood. In this opportunity my tale begins since I have got 7 years old, when I started to study and share with my friends and neighbors.

First at all, I used to get up at 6.00 a.m. because I studied in the morning. Before me leaving to school I had my breakfast every day. I still have it before leaving to my office, it’s very healthy. In the afternoon after I had finished my homework and helping my mother I used to share with my friends in the neighborhood.

We enjoyed several kind of game as a hiding to each other, talking and sing our favorite songs and watch the Soup Opera together. One of the game we enjoyed most was to take the shower under the raining, for it we to put on our swimming dress, then we looked for each other in our houses, we ran around the yard while raining was falling, we enjoyed it very much.

On the other hand I remember very well a frightening thing, I was ironing clothes when I suddenly felt a big noise like a train in movement into my house. I think it lasted 5 minutes more or less. When everything had got quite, everybody got out the house yelling and crying under a big panic; one lady told in aloud voice: “It was an earthquake, please do not get into house yet”. It is the only one that I have lived in all my life.

I have a lot interesting thinks to tell about my childhood, it will take a long writing, I choose two of them. I hope they haven been enjoyable.


Writing by Nelly

[thedaffodils]

Hello Nelly,

I am neither a teacher nor a native speaker. Here's my two cents. I'm not sure all my corrections are correct.

Hope this helps.

My Childhood

I would like to talk about some interesting experiences during my childhood. In this opportunity [it is not necessary to say this] my tale begins since I have got 7 years old, when I started to study and share with my friends and neighbors.[ you don't clearly tell what you share]

I would like to tell something interesting about my childhood. I'll start from the age when I was 7 years old, I went to school and had a lot of fun with my friends and neighours.

First at all [delete it], I used to get up at6.00 [a column but not a period after 6] a.m. because I studied in the morning. Before me leaving to school I had my breakfast every day. I still have it before leaving to my office, it’s very healthy. In the afternoon after I had finished my homework and helping my mother I used to share with[what did you share]my friends in the neighborhood.

I used to get up at 6:00 a.m. I had my breakfast first every day, then I went to school. I still keep this habit before going to my office. It makes me healthy. In the afternoon, I helped my mother do the housework after I finished my homework.

We enjoyed several kind of game[games] as a hiding to each other, talking and sing our favorite songs and watch the Soup Opera [soap opera] together . One of the game we enjoyed most was to take the shower under the raining, for it we to put on our swimming dress, then we looked for each other in our houses, we ran around the yard while raining was falling, we enjoyed it very much.

We shared a lot of good time together, such as playing hide- and-seek, singing songs, watching soap opera. Our favorite game was playing in the rain with swimming suit in the yard.

On the other hand [ delete it] I remember very well a frightening thing, I was ironing clothes when I suddenly felt a big noise like a train in movement into my house. I think it lasted 5 minutes more or less. When everything had got quite, everybody got out the house yelling and crying under a big panic; one lady told in aloud voice: “It was an earthquake, please do not get into house yet”. It is the only[terrible] one that I have lived in all my life.

I still remember a terrible thing very well. When I was ironing our clothes, suddenly I felt a big shake like a train moved into my house. It lasted around 5 minutes. When it stopped, people came out of their houses, crying in a panic. A woman cried loudly, " It's an earthquake. Please don't get into house." This is the only terrible thing I experienced in my life so far.

I have a lot[of] interesting thinks [things ]to tell about my childhood, but it will take a long writing, I choose two of them. I hope they haven been enjoyable.[I hope you would enjoy them]

I have many funny things to share with you. But it'll take a lot time to write, so I chose two of them. I hope you would enjoy them.

Writing by Nelly

By Nelly

[thedaffodils]

Dear Friend: It's my pleasure to write you and ask for help, I would like from you to correct my easy and give some advices of this.

Thanks very much in Advance,
Nelly

#1: advice is an uncountable noun.

Give me some advice on this.

#2: thanks is a noun; thank is a verb.

Correct: Thank you very much OR Many thanks

#3 You ask help here. In other words, you have to trouble people to take time to help you. I think it is inappropriate to say "it is my pleasure"

#4 essay but not "easy"