an essay in need of evaluation and remarks

[mickey]

Please read and tell me if my writing is ok. And point out any flaws when necessary. Thanks in advance

Topic: We are surrounded by advertising. Some people think that this is good, because it gives us choices as customers, but others argue that it makes people selfish and greedy for more and more goods.
Do you think that there should be less advertising?

Advertising, in my opinion, serves as an indispensable catalyst for the development and blossom of manufacturing industries. And it is currently going far beyond its very first, primary function that is to persuade customers to buy a particular product. Therefore I am not in favour of the idea to disrupt it in any way.
Firstly, advertising constitutes a bridge between customers and manufacturers through which purchasers acquire a lot of useful information abouts products. Then they can make comparisons, reflect and decide which is the best option for them. This saves them from paying through their nose for poor-quality items. Furthermore counterfeit goods can be better checked when producers expose their products and manifest buyers distinctive features from fake ones.
Secondly, tasks of education for the public has the potential to be fulfilled by advertisements such as billboards, posters, TV series etc. For example, a company introduces its new mosquito repellent by giving warnings about the dangers related to malaria. Or recently, the large majority of Vietnamese, at the sight of victims of appalling road accidents printed in large posters along the streets, has volunteered to use helmets when traveling.
Nextly, from my ways of thinking, it can be said without exaggeration that advertising has become a modern form of art – a mixture of many fields. To make a successful televised advertisement it is required of a good message imparted to audiences by eminent actors and actresses, of thrilling scenes filmed in interesting places etc. With regard to educational billboards, the important elements range from a concise, meaningful slogan to eye-catching images and conspicuous positions. So they themselves are worth being regarded as an artistic achievement gained by the efforts of many people.
Nevertheless, I feel compelled to admit that there is still something wrong with advertising. Customers, besieged by an immense amount of products get bewildered and stimulated to buy unnecessary ones. The content of some ads is not appropriate and insensitive, thus engendering unexpected reactions from the public.
All things considered, I still hold the view that advertising plays an essential role in the development of every economy and it is not very wise for governments officials to impose a limit to its quantity.

[Raymott]

Please read and tell me if my writing is ok. And point out any flaws when necessary. Thanks in advance

Topic: We are surrounded by advertising. Some people think that this is good, because it gives us choices as customers, but others argue that it makes people selfish and greedy for more and more goods.
Do you think that there should be less advertising?

Advertising, in my opinion, serves as an indispensable catalyst for the development and blossoming of manufacturing industries. And it is currently going far beyond its very first, primary function that is to persuade customers to buy a particular product. Therefore I am not in favour of the idea to disrupt it in any way.
Firstly, advertising constitutes a bridge between customers and manufacturers through which purchasers acquire a lot of useful information abouts products. Then they can make comparisons, reflect and decide which is the best option for them. This saves them from paying through their nose for poor-quality items. Furthermore counterfeit goods can be better checked when producers expose their products and manifest show buyers distinctive features from fake ones.
Secondly, tasks of education for of the public [tasks] have the potential to be fulfilled by advertisements such as billboards, posters, TV series etc. For example, a company introduces its new mosquito repellent by giving warnings about the dangers related to malaria. Or recently, the large majority of Vietnamese, at the sight of victims of appalling road accidents printed in large posters along the streets, has volunteered to use helmets when traveling.
Next [Nextly is not a word], from my ways of thinking, it can be said without exaggeration that advertising has become a modern form of art – a mixture of many fields. To make a successful televised advertisement it is required of a what is required is a good message imparted to audiences by eminent actors and actresses, of thrilling scenes filmed in interesting places etc. With regard to educational billboards, the important elements range from a concise, meaningful slogan to eye-catching images and conspicuous positions. So they themselves are worth being regarded as an artistic achievement gained by the efforts of many people.
Nevertheless, I feel compelled to admit that there is still something wrong with advertising. Customers, besieged by an immense amount of products get bewildered and stimulated to buy unnecessary ones. The content of some ads is inappropriate and insensitive, thus engendering unexpected reactions from the public.
All things considered, I still hold the view that advertising plays an essential role in the development of every economy and it is not very wise for governments officials to impose a limit to its quantity.

Suggest delete underlined. Add blue
Questions welcome.