Prayers for her

[shanz]

Please go through my passage below and indicate my mistakes…… Thanks

Its my firm believe if my intentions are true and I pray whole heartedly then sooner or later my prayers verily be responded. But what hurts my more is your ignorance though you have decided to leave me but still I can’t keep you away from me. In fact my eyes brimmed with tears when I think you going.

[Raymott]

Please go through my passage below and indicate my mistakes…… Thanks

Its my firm believe if my intentions are true and I pray whole heartedly then sooner or later my prayers verily be responded. But what hurts my more is your ignorance though you have decided to leave me but still I can’t keep you away from me. In fact my eyes brimmed with tears when I think you going.

Its my firm belief that if my intentions are true and I pray whole-heartedly, then sooner or later my prayers verily be responded will be answered. But what hurts me most [this doesn't follow] is your ignorance. though You have decided to leave me but still I can’t keep you away from me. In fact, my eyes brim with tears when I think you going.
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Suggest delete underlined. Add blue.
Most of your conjunctions do not actual join related concepts. They sound like unrelated thoughts. Perhaps this is the effect you are trying to give?