an essay about alcohol and tobacco
Please correct and evaluate my essay below. Thanks very much.
Topic: Tobacco and alcohol are drugs that cause addiction and health problems. Should they be made illegal? Or should all drugs be legalized?
What is your opinion?
Whether government should ratify a new law to put a ban on tobacco and alcohol is a controversial subject, thus requiring a lot of rigour. Concerning the two proposals put forward above, I consider them superficial and little substance for the following reasons.
To begin with, the decision to attach illegality to tobacco and alcohol business risks producing a wave of anger and protest within many groups of people. Businessmen will sustain heavy losses of capital and profit for the closure of their factories. Employees in the relevant industries have to face the probability of unemployment. Tobacco addicts and alcoholics, for want of these products, run riot. All of these factors can pave the way for demonstrations and rebellion. Thereby, the promulgation of this new law is synonymous with seeking more problems.
On the other side, the legalization of addictive products should be regarded as a retrograde step. Currently, though restricted in quantity and popularity by the government, drugs still seduce a large number of customers. In case the grip over them were loosened or even abrogated, this would serve as a catalyst for their boom. With the effective assistance of advertising, they would intrude into all the corners of public media, tempting people into buying more and more. What is worse is that children – highly influenced – would be intrigued to have a try and then get addicted. A dramatic increase in the number of cases of diseases related to smoking and drinking, a decline in the quality of work performed by addicted labour force, downgrade in moral standards would be probably unavoidable concomitants.
To summarize, the two suggested policies are equally unfavourable. I am convinced that, due to the complexity of the issue, many remedies, instead of only one, should be synchronize to take effect. Firstly, it is advisable to put a limit on production and variety of addictive products. Secondly, government officials should tighten their control and management so that advertising for these kinds of products have no probability to see the light. Thirdly, depending on each groups of customers, an acceptable amount is prescribed. Last but not least, the task of education for the public about the danger of drugs like tobacco and alcohol should be better bostered.
Re: an essay about alcohol and tobacco
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mickey 
Please correct and evaluate my essay below. Thanks very much.
Topic: Tobacco and alcohol are drugs that cause addiction and health problems. Should they be made illegal? Or should all drugs be legalized?
What is your opinion?
Whether government should ratify a new law to put a ban on tobacco and alcohol is a controversial subject, thus requiring a lot of rigour. Concerning the two proposals put forward above, I consider them superficial and of little substance for the following reasons.
To begin with, the decision to attach illegality to the tobacco and alcohol businesses risks producing a wave of anger and protest within many groups of people. Businessmen* will sustain heavy losses of capital and profit for by the closure of their factories. Employees in the relevant industries have to face the probability of unemployment. Tobacco addicts and alcoholics, for want of these products, would/will run riot. All of these factors can pave the way for demonstrations and rebellion. Thereby, the promulgation of this new law is synonymous with seeking more problems.
On the other side, the further legalization of addictive products should be regarded as a retrograde step. Currently, though restricted in quantity and popularity by the government, drugs still seduce a large number of customers. In case the grip over them were loosened or even abrogated, this would serve as a catalyst for their boom. With the effective assistance of advertising, they would intrude into all the corners of public media, tempting people into buying more and more. What is worse is that children – highly subject to influence – would be intrigued to have a try and then get addicted. A dramatic increase in the number of cases of diseases related to smoking and drinking, a decline in the quality of work performed by an addicted labour force, and downgrade in moral standards would probably be unavoidable concomitants.
To summarize, the two suggested policies are equally unfavourable. I am convinced that, due to the complexity of the issue, many remedies, instead of only one, should be synchronized to take effect. Firstly, it is advisable to put a limit on production and variety of addictive products. Secondly, government officials should tighten their control and management so that advertising for these kinds of products have no probability to see the light. Thirdly, depending on each groups of customers, an acceptable amount is prescribed. Last but not least, the task of education for the public about the danger of drugs like tobacco and alcohol should be better boostered.
Suggest deleted underlined; add blue
*"Businesses and their shareholders" might be better here. Big Businessmen rarely suffer much.
