Text

[érikatrindade]

Please, what i could do to my test get better??I
The text:
"It was birthday of my sister last week, 21st October. Then, my parents and I met and we decided to give to her a party . She doesn't like party very much, so we thought about a surprised party.
It was pretty hot day, altough it was almost night. We organized my mother's house for the accomplishment of the party and invited all the family and her best friends.
While my mom and I were making the cake, my other sister brought the all things for the decoration. About the 6.00 P.M. we began to organize the room where would be the party. We decoreted with a lot of colorful balloons, especially pink balloons which is her favorite color. We also put on a strip written:"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRISCILA!" in front of the door.
She was studying at a friend's house. So, I called her and told her that a present has just arrived for her and she would have to come back home as soon as possible to see the present , because it was the most eccentric box that I have ever seen. She told me that she would be home about 8:00 P.M. Quickly, we finished the last preparations, we arranged the table with the cake and the candles, turned off the lights and we waited for her eagerly.
When she arrived and got into the room we shouted and wish for her a happy birthday. She was frightened, but she loved it!!! We were glad everything turned out all right."

Regards,
Érika

[Anglika]

Please, what i could do to my test get better??I
The text:

"It was birthday of my sister last week, 21st October. My parents and I met and we decided to give to her a party . She doesn't like parties very much, so we thought about a surprise party.
It was a pretty hot day, although it was almost night. We organized my mother's house for the accomplishment of the party and invited all the family and her best friends. We organised the party at our mother's house and invited all the family and her best friends.
While my mom and I were making the cake, my other sister brought the all things brought everything for the decorations. About the 6.00 P.M. About 6.00p.m. we began to organize the room where would be the partythe party would be held.. We decorated it with a lot of colorful balloons, especially pink balloons which is her favorite color. We also put on a strip put up a banner on which was written:"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRISCILLA!" in front of over the door.
She My sister was studying at a friend's house, so I called her and told her that a present has just arrived for her and she would have to come back home as soon as possible to see the present , because it was the most eccentric box that I have ever seen. She told me that she would be home about 8:00 p.m. Quickly, we finished the last preparations, we arranged the table with the cake and the candles, turned off the lights and we waited for her eagerly.
When she arrived and got into the room, we turned on the lights and all shouted and wished her a happy birthday. She was frightened, but she loved it! We were glad everything turned out all right."

Regards,
Érika

..