[Essay] Can Anyone Correct My Essay? Thanks so much!

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Hey guys, I'm having an extremely important exam next week. Thus, I'm preparing essay techniques for it, cuz I'm so so so so bad at it. This is one of my essay, I hope you guys can help:


Essay: People attend college or university for many different reasons (new experiences, career preparation, increasing knowledge). Why do you think people attend college? Use specific reasons and answers to support your answer.


Bill Gates, the richest and most respectable man in the world, a 20-year-old college drop-out, has claimed that the education in the university is very important and one should follow its course until graduating. In fact, attending college is really essential as it provides students greater knowledge, more understanding of the community as well as more job opportunities. My essay will illustrate this matter thoroughly.

First of all, university’s courses help learners develop their knowledge about certain fields. Unlike in high school where students can only contact with general knowledge, in college, students study the subjects they like, along with the ones essential for their jobs in the future. In addition, students have the prospects to study skills to make wise decisions, to express thoughts clearly in speech and writing. These abilities will benefit students both on and off the job.

In addition, attending college develops students’ awareness of the community around. They will know how to behave well with others, cooperate effectively with classmates and excel at teamwork. Thus, university is considered the teacher who trains students to become a good citizen, as well as being responsible for themselves. Moreover, the undergraduates can also have opportunities to discover themselves. For example, they can explore their own interests or life-long goals through various kinds of activities in college.

Another advantage is that students are able to have a great deal of job opportunities after graduation. As we all know, the world has changed rapidly, requiring much more brain powers than muscle powers. Therefore, more and more jobs expect qualifications beyond high school. That means the more education you receive, the more job opportunities you can get hold of. Consequently, going to college is the first stepping-stone on the path to success.

All in all, attending college is a good choice for students after finishing high school as it can provide learners indispensable knowledge and experiences, career preparation and job opportunities. I strongly recommend that college is not the only way to success and thus, students should choose what kind of education that is best suitable to them.