Correct my first essay, please.
My name is Huy, I am from Vietnam.
This is my first attempt in writing an essay and of course I know I've made many mistakes, so please help me to correct them. Thanks you very much.
Topic: Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Which view do you agree with? Explain why?
Whether a college or university education should be available to all students is a disputable issue. Some people believe that higher education should be available to all students have a point of view that every body is equal. However, to me, it should be available to excellent students for the following reason: requiring students much money, time, effort and great focus; restraining the college education source, and being not the only choice to success in our life.
First of all, higher education requires their students much money, time, effort and great focus. A university fees is very expensive. So it would be a waste of money to send mediocre students to college or university. Furthermore, students still have to face to many problems relating money such as: housekeeping fees, money to buy book, transport charges, etc … In the university students must be good at reading, writing and searching information as well, which spend much time, effort. Higher education even requires them to put more effort into studying than high school education. Thus, university should be available to good students.
In addition, the opposite view holds that the college education source restrains. The teachers available are limited and material conditions serve education that still is restricted. Therefore, it should be given to the most outstanding students who good at high school is proved that they worked hard on studying.
Last but not least, higher education is not the only choice to success in our life. Students who can’t go to a university can choose their own ways to be successful. To be successful depends most on your hard-working, not on your school.
All in all, form the reasons discussed above; I’m convinced that a college or university education should be available to excellent students because it benefits mediocre students and our society.
By pleasecorrectme in forum Editing & Writing Topics
Last Post: 23-Jun-2009, 21:54
By Park Jeong-eun in forum Editing & Writing Topics
Last Post: 22-Feb-2008, 01:59
By leangguek in forum Editing & Writing Topics
Last Post: 09-Feb-2008, 05:10
By belly_ttt in forum Editing & Writing Topics
Last Post: 04-Jan-2008, 20:21
By aleycris in forum Ask a Teacher
Last Post: 29-Oct-2003, 17:41
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO