please help me

[Reemaa]

hi

how are you ?


i have my friend's paraghraph coz my teacher asked us to correct paraghraph
and we have to give it for her 2morrow
she said kook for:
1- is the paraghraph has main idea and topic sentence
2- and supported details
3- conclouted sentence
this is her outline and paraghraph : please don'h ignor it

outline:
1-hardworking is good property.
2-my sister loves hardworking very much.
3-she is doing hard working everyday.
4-sometimes,she is woking volanteer in her job.
5-sometimes hardworking need a little help.
6-if my sister needed the helping in her work.
7-i must give her the help.
8-i think the hardworking need a patience to do the good job.

paraghraph:

hardworking is good property. my sister loves hardworking very much . she is doing hardworking everyday. sometimes she is working volanteer in her job .hardworking somtimes needs a little help. for example, if my sister needed the helping in her work , i must give her the help. i think , the hardworking need a patience to do the good job.


thanks.....

[Reemaa]

please heeeeeeelp meeee

[thedaffodils]

Hi Reemaa,

I am neither a teacher of English nor a native speaker.

Please don't make your writing in Internet chatting style, which is completely unacceptable in serious formal writing including your assignment. Here are some points:

1. The first word of each sentence should be capitalised.

2. The word of "I" should always be capitalised.

3.

hardworking is good property.

Correct: Hardworking is an asset.

Asset: 1 [C] a useful or valuable quality, skill or person:

4.

she is doing hardworking everyday

.

Comment: If a person does something everyday, you should use present tense rather than present continous tense.

5 The word of patience is an uncountable noun, so you should delete "a" before "patience".

6.

if my sister needed [ needs] the helping in her work , i must give her the help.

Correct: If my sister needs my help, I will give her a hand.

7. The spelling of "2morrow" doesn't look cool in formal writing at all. It can be considered as a solecism.

Hope this hopes.

[Reemaa]

thanks

[ameera alshahrani]

thedaffodils
Thank you very much darling
i got benfits from your comment for Reemaa
thanks alot ..