I am not a teacher, but a university student.
This is my edited version of your essay!
As a child I was driven by an unnatural curiosity. I was often found damaging electronic devices by knocking them down, and failing to reassemble them, just to find out what they contained or how they worked. I once opened a scientific calculator with a screwdriver, and looked at the structure inside. I had no idea about how the system worked of course, but I was fascinated by how the graphite-like substance on the tiny piece of plastic did the difficult calculations in an instant.
My parents bought me my first computer when I was eight. At that time, few people knew how to use it, and no one had time to teach me, so I had to learn on my own. As I discovered more about computer software and hardware from books, articles, forums and research, my interest in them increased and computers soon became my passion.
Engineering has had a profound effect on the way we live and in shaping the world we know today. I am intrigued by all aspects of the subject ranging from the utilization of scientific knowledge, to solving practical problems through environmental and economic considerations.
Throughout my education I have participated in a range of initiatives and activities, along with assuming many positions of responsibility. My experiences developed my interpersonal skills and provided me with an ambition to achieve all that I do. I feel that I am hard working, responsible, ambitious, enthusiastic but most of all friendly, sociable and highly self-motivated. I am ready to share my experiences and learn from others. My communication skills have been put to the test during my experiences, and I have proved many times that I am a team player. I believe that success as an engineer in a modern society requires a combination of management, communication, and business skills. Therefore, with my previous experiences, focused attitude, and will for success, I have the ability and motivation to meet the demands of studying at degree level. I feel confident that I will make contributions to university life.
As hobbies, I like watching movies, reading literature and history, swimming, listening to music, discovering new things about different cultures, and socializing.
I have always dreamed to study in US because I admire people's mentality and nature, the education given to students, the living standards and I am fascinated by its history and its language. It would represent a great opportunity for me to discover a new culture and mentality and to live in a multicultural environment. I wish my qualities, skills and achievements make me a good candidate for your scholarship program and help me fulfill my dream.
I have maybe one suggestion for you:
...studying at degree level
Maybe you could try being a little more specific here. For example, if you are applying for the undergraduate degree level, say 'studing at the undergraduate degree level'. If you are studying at the Masters or PhD level, substitute accordingly.
I hope I've been helpful!
- For Teachers