Failed this summary, feedback please.

[Bcndiamond]

First of all, im dutch and my study is in dutch as well.
I had to write a summary in english on a subject from a diff. class.
The only rules were, between 500-600 words.

Now i failed with this, no feedback from the teacher yet.
Could someone please read this and give me some feedback?
:(

Your Hosting Service

YHS is a web hosting service that provides users with the necessary tools to build a website and host it on the World Wide Web. Our standard package has a build in content manager system, so our customers don’t have to worry about the more technical aspects of site building. Advanced users, government-organizations or aspiring e-businesses have the option to choose between either a virtual server or a dedicated web host for maximum performance. All our customers get access to an easy to use control panel which includes the most up-to-date application development platforms and a professional FTP (file transfer protocol) system.

When every online niche, small or big is saturated, it’s important you know what to do when it comes to SEO[1]. Websites have to be coded close to perfect to make sure it’s indexed and recognized by the largest search engines such as Google or Yahoo. If you think you can sit back and wait for your business to become the next e-hype, you’re dead wrong. Google crawls most websites on a weekly basis to look for new content in order to update their result pages. If the codes of your websites are not optimized for indexing you may drop several spots in the results pages for your targeted keywords. A decreased ranking in important result pages may hurt your websites traffic and sale percentage tremendously. Google and other search engines determine the ranking of your domain and sub-domains on its popularity and relevancy for specific keywords. The popularity and relevancy is measured by a system called ‘page-rank’. A high page rank can be obtained by creating backlinks to your site from WebPages that have specific content concerning your websites subject. Our SEO department has a small team of freelancers working on our website day and night to make sure it’s as accessible to the public as possible.

We realize traffic isn’t everything, especially if this traffic consists of people who aren’t the least bit interested in what we sell. Therefore we strive for a high customer conversion rate, putting quality over quantity. We advertise YHS on other websites and places that may attract less computer savvy persons or elders. By doing so we can ensure we get targeted traffic and a higher customer conversion rate. Every webmaster may experience a setback in sales due to unknown reasons. We use sophisticated java scripts to analyze all traffic for behavior patterns. If a decrease in sales occurs, we are able to pin point the exact reason by analyzing the bounce rate of our visitors. We may find out our customer cart or checkout process is not working properly by locating the exact landing and exit pages of all IP addresses surfing our website. If a problem appears to be external, our marketing agent and SEO department will try to find out if it’s due to the behavior of our website in search-engines and directories.

While webhosting is not a new concept, we appear to be unique due to the fact that we merge all important systems and tools, and present them for the end users in one place. YHS offers the best of both worlds: state-of-the-art technology to build your website, superb customer service and a place to host it for everyone to see.

[1] SEO – Search Engine Optimization

[susiedqq]

"build in" should be "built-in"

Other than that, your essay sounds like advertising or media script.

Was that your assignment?

[BobK]

susiedqq's last question is the key. Nobody can say why you failed a test if they don't know what the test was.

You can get some initial statistical information from here: Text Content Analyser - UsingEnglish.com

b

[Bcndiamond]

There weren't any rules except atleast 500 words about something done in a different class. So if failed it must have been errors in spelling or grammar.
Anyway thanks, ill see her tomorrow and ask.