Please correct my essay

[Dany]

Hello everyone,

would you please correct the following essay? It's based on a picture story. I have to use so many adverbs as possible.

Thanks in advance,
Dany


Late in the evening of 19th December, a burglar broke into a house near the Eifeltower. Carefully, he put all the valuable things of the living room in his bag. Then he felt hungry, so he went into the kitchen and looked for something to eat in the refrigerator. He found some bread and cheese. Then he took a knife, fork and plate out of the cupboard, and sat down at the table to eat what he had found. While he was eating, he felt thirsty. He went back to the refrigerator and took the two bottles wine out. He was so thirsty, that he drank both bottles out. Suddenly he felt very tired. That’s why he didn’t left the house. He went upstairs and looked for bed. As he found one, he put down his bag in front of the bed and laid down on it himself.

Unfortunately, one neighbour had heard something, so she called the police because she thought that something is wrong in that flat. The police came immidiately. They saw the fun of it, to found the burglar sleeping in the bed. They woke him up and took him to the police station.

[Tdol]

Eifeltower- Eiffel Tower
took the two bottles wine out- took two bottles of wine out
He was so thirsty, that he drank both bottles out- He was so thirsty that he drank both bottles
didn’t left - didn't leave
looked for bed- looked for a bed
laid down on it himself- lay down on it
something is wrong- something was wrong
immidiately- immediately
They saw the fun of it, to found the burglar sleeping in the bed- they saw the funny side of finding the burglar asleep/sleeping in the bed

[Dany]

Thanks for your fast answer, Tdol

Kind regards,
Dany

[rocos]

I think he well done. I could not find any error.