Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

[iaur]

Can someone please check my English please?
If there's something wrong (grammar mistake, some incorrect verbs or wrong construction of a prase), could you please correct it for me?

I'm making a video on YouTube, so you'll see the result once you corrected the text! ;)
Thanks in advance for your time and kindness!

It is a period of high recession on planet Earth.
Prices all over the vast planet have risen to unbearable levels,
the economy is falling and the humans seamed to have lost all hopes.
But there’s sparking light at the end of the tunnel, and that
is the shinning XYZ’s site: a new enhanced site version with tons
of computer products, blank disks, office and audio/video equipment
and a lot more, all at your grasps at incredible affordable prices.
XYZ is the new elite rebel group that is successfully fighting against
the Galactic Recession Empire.
They are the fastest, strongest, and highest trained team force on
the planet and they will help you and get you what you need with
your total satisfaction. Log on the new XYZ and
may the force be with you…

[Anglika]

It is a period of high recession on planet Earth.
Prices all over the vast planet have risen to unbearable levels,
the economy is failing and the humans seemed to have lost all hopes.
But there’s sparking light at the end of the tunnel, and that
is the shining XYZ’s site: a new enhanced site version with tons
of computer products, blank disks, office and audio/video equipment
and a lot more, all within your grasp at incredible affordable prices.
XYZ is the new elite rebel group that is successfully fighting against
the Galactic Recession Empire.
They are the fastest, strongest, and highest trained team force on
the planet and they will help you and get you what you need with
your total satisfaction. Log on the new XYZ and
may the force be with you…
#

Hmmmmmm

[iaur]

Thank you very much for your help Anglika! ...
Wow...I did pretty good then.

[...]
the economy is failing and [...]

I have a doubt on this...are you sure that "falling" can't be used?
Obviously the sense with both words is quite similar, but I was wondering why you changed it.
failing --> failure, lack of success.
falling --> dropping, descending

Hmmmmmm

What you are thinking about? What is troubling you?

Thanks again!

[Anglika]

Thank you very much for your help Anglika! ...
Wow...I did pretty good then.

I have a doubt on this...are you sure that "falling" can't be used?
Obviously the sense with both words is quite similar, but I was wondering why you changed it.
failing --> failure, lack of success.
falling --> dropping, descending

In this context, the economy is dropping OR the economy is failing. Falling would not be used.


What you are thinking about? What is troubling you? I am a cynic. This kind of advert always makes me wonder.

Thanks again!

..

[iaur]

..

Thanks again for your explanation.
It was really useful and now I understand.

Since posting the link of the youtube video in this thread might be considered spamming, I won't. I'll just PM you the link since you helped me.

Thanks again for your time and help.
Have a nice day.