plz correct mistakes from this essay bcz its for my ielts test..

[hunny]

The rising level of congestion & air pollution found in most of the world’s cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be to encourage people to use their car less & public transport more.
Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport.


Yes, the increasing level of crowds on the road causes the increasing of air pollution and dusts in all over the cities, which are harmful for our health. On road, mostly private cars are moving just because the common use of them. If we want the quality of life in cities, it must be necessary to reduce the more use of private cars and less use of public transports.

First, we have to change our life style and consider ourselves as a common citizen like others. Mostly public transports are running all over the cities which are easily accessible to everyone and everyone can afford them because they are not expensive. Eventually we know all the positive aspects of public transports but we do not act as a common citizen and everybody wants to get high position as compare to others. If a person is going to his office then he should choose public transport for going to his office, to pick up the bus he should wake up early and should have to adjust his daily routine. Most of the people miss them due to irregular routine of life.

On the contrary, those who frequently use private cars, they said it is very hectic to stand on bus stop and then get into the buses which are already overloaded. I admit, this problem is genuine and people don’t want to waste their time, they are very busy in their life.

Although, it’s the task of government to increase the number of public transports, as they increase, the number of crowds per bus will also be reduced. Government should improve the standards of public buses; they should be large and widely separated into men and women departments. Drivers of these transports most of the time become very careless, they should provide proper training and then hire them as drivers for public transport. Because mostly people do complaints that the drivers are very careless, they drive them very badly, so it is better to go by private car rather than by public transport. These are some basic needs that we should realize them and try to throw out them from our society. Government should act on these points very seriously. For instance if the public transport are easier for us then we choose them rather than to go by private cars.

To sum up all the points, we should less use of our private cars because the rate of these cars is very high due to this, the pollutions are increasing and many people are suffering from their health problems. To increase the rate of public transport, we should increase the number of them and to make them more comfortable that everybody willing to get into them and as they increase, the crowds on each bus will also be decreased.

[Raymott]

This is of a good standard.
Is this a practice run? I thought IELTS tests were taken under exam conditions?

[hunny]

yes im practicing my ielts and preparing my self for this test.. test will be in august. and i need atleast 7 band.. wish me gud luck plz.. and do help me in my studies.

[Raymott]

The rising level of congestion & air pollution found in most of the world’s cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be to encourage people to use their car less & public transport more.
Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport.


Yes, the increasing level of vehicles crowds [crowds is normally used for people] on the road causes the increasing of air pollution and dusts in all over the cities, which are harmful for our health. On road, mostly private cars are moving just because the common use of them. If we want the quality of life in cities, it must be is necessary to reduce the more use of private cars and less increase the use of public transport.
[Corrected to here]

First, we have to change our life style and consider ourselves as a common citizen like others. Mostly public transports are running all over the cities which are easily accessible to everyone and everyone can afford them because they are not expensive. Eventually we know all the positive aspects of public transports but we do not act as a common citizen and everybody wants to get high position as compare to others. If a person is going to his office then he should choose public transport for going to his office,. To pick up the bus he should wake up early and should would have to adjust his daily routine. Most of the people miss them due to irregular routine of life.

On the contrary, those who frequently use private cars, they said say it is very hectic to stand on the bus stop and then get into the buses which are already overloaded. I admit, this problem is genuine and people don’t want to waste their time, they are very busy in their life.

Although, it’s the task of government to increase the number of public transports, as they increase, the number of crowds people per bus will also be reduced. Government should improve the standards of public buses; they should be large and widely separated into men and women departments. [Huh? Wouldn't this simply add to the administrative problems, eg. the possibility of an over-crowded men's area with almost no one in the women's area - not very efficient.]

Drivers of these transports buses most of the time become very careless, they should provide proper training and then hire them as drivers for public transport. Because mostly people do complaints that the drivers are very careless, they drive them very badly, so it is better to go by private car rather than by public transport. These are some basic needs that we should realize them and try to throw out them from our society. Government should act on these points very seriously. For instance if the public transport are easier for us then we choose them rather than to go by private cars.

To sum up all the points, we should less use of our private cars less because the rate of these cars is very high due to this, the pollutions are increasing and many people are suffering from their health problems. To increase the rate of public transport, we should increase the number of them and to make them more comfortable that everybody willing to get into them and as they increase, the crowds on each bus will also be decreased.

I've corrected some of your errors. To correct them all would require a re-write. You will improve with more experience.
You could vary the usage of words: for examples for 'crowds', try 'people, passengers, public transport users ...' Don't use the same words over and over unless you have to. Watch your use of plurals and articles.

[hunny]

thnk u so much i just started my writing module and i need much support on it.. thnnk u so much sir..