[Essay] plz check my repititions and grammar in this essays( IELTS)

[hunny]

Nowadays, children have a lot of homework to do. Some people, however, believe that less homework means less stress for children, so they will be able to learn other useful skills, too. What is your opinion?


Our education system is not so good regarding assignments of students. Mostly schools give so many assignments to students for keeping them busy in their studies. This is not a good idea because they can’t do any other activity even they are unable to learn other useful proficiency.

Firstly, I believe that teachers should understand this thing and try to avoid giving so many assignments to their students. They should try to complete their task in class and if they think the course can not be completed without giving assignments then they should try to give less homework and should try to keep their stress level in medium. Moreover mostly teachers in present days try to make students studious, they do not realize except studies they should learn other things in life like swimming, yoga, playing cricket, writing poems or computer skills etc. Many students can not do other activity and even they are unable to learn other useful skills just because of lack of time, their most of time spends in doing school assignments.

In addition, school assignments are very exhausting for students because they have given short target time and students have to complete their task till the end of dead line. I believe that teachers should co-operate with students and try to give less home works because if they got less homework they may get less stress.

Yet some people believe that students should busy in whole day because they want to keep them busy in studies, they think it is goof for their future. For instance they suppose that due to more assignments they do not do any notorious activity and they don’t go out more. Sometimes this thought is good but not every time. Students should have relieved from their assignments. They should keep their mind fresh by learning other useful proficiencies.

To sum up all the conclusion teachers should understand the mental level of students and try to give less stress by giving fewer assignments. So that they can be able to learn other useful skills or activities like writing poems, story writing, swimming, cricket etc.

[csheywood]

Originally Posted by hunny

Nowadays, children have a lot of homework to do. Some people, however, believe that less homework means less stress for children, so they will be able to learn other useful skills, too. What is your opinion?


Our education system is not so good regarding assignments of 'for' students. Mostly most schools give so many assignments to students for keeping to keep them busy in their studies. This is not a good idea because they can’t do any have no time for other activities even if they are unable to learn other useful proficiencies.

Firstly, I believe that teachers should understand this thing and try to avoid giving so many assignments to their students. They should try to complete their task in class and if they think the course can not be completed without giving assignments then they should try to give less homework and should try to keep their stress level into a medium. Moreover mostly most teachers in present days at present try to make students studious, use a ; herethey do not realize except studies they should learn other things in life like swimming, yoga, playing cricket, writing poems or computer skills etc. Many students can not do other activities and even if they are unable to learn other useful skills use a , here just because of lack of time, [U]their most of time spends [/Umost of their time is spent]in doing school assignments.

In addition, school assignments are very exhausting for students because they have are given short target times and students have to complete their task till the end of dead line by the deadline. I believe that teachers should co-operate with students and try to give less home works homework (singular) because if they got less homework they may get less stress.

Yet some people believe that students should be busy in the whole day because which is the cause and which is the effect here? they want to keep them busy in studies,use a ; here they think it is goof good for their future. For instance they suppose that due to more assignments they do not do any notorious activity and they don’t go out more. Sometimes this thought is good but not every all the time. Students should have relieved relief (noun) from their assignments. They should keep their mind fresh by learning other useful proficiencies.

To sum up all the conclusion 'to sum up' or 'in conclusion' teachers should understand the mental level of students and try to give less stress by giving fewer assignments. So use a ', so that...' that they can be able to learn other useful skills or activities like writing poems, story writing, swimming, cricket etc.

I have underlined the words and phrases that can be replaced by the words in red.

You have correctly identified that there are 2 arguments and you have stated what your opinion is - watch out for the punctuation and linking words because sometimes the , or ; can change the ability to follow the ideas.

[hunny]

thnk u so much sir but could u plz tell me in some underline u mention 'use a here' i dont understand here what doest it mean ?

[csheywood]

Originally Posted by hunny

thnk u so much sir but could u plz tell me in some underline u mention 'use a here' i dont understand here what doest it mean ?

Hello
I referred to punctuation eg use a ; here means 'use a semi colon' here'. If you remember, I mentioned that it's important to think about punctuation marks, as well as the ideas you are expressing. I wrote the actual punctuation marks in those phrases: use a ... here. There are some differences between ',' and ';'.
Hope that makes it clearer!

[minhman]

Our education system is not so good regarding assignments of (for) students. Mostly (most) schools give so many assignments to students for keeping (to keep)them busy in their studies. This is not a good idea because they can’t do (have little time for) any other activity (activities) even they are unable to learn other useful proficiency.(ies)

Firstly, I believe that teachers should understand this thing and try to avoid giving so many (too) assignments to their students. They should try to complete their task in class and if they think the course can not be completed without giving assignments then they should try to give less homework and should (omit it) try to keep their stress level in medium. Moreover mostly (most) teachers in present days try to make students studious, they do not realize except (besides) studies (studying) they should learn other things in life like swimming, yoga, playing cricket, writing poems or computer skills etc. Many students can not do other activity (activities) and even they are unable to learn other useful skills just because of lack of time, their most of time spends in doing school assignments. (most of their time allotted to doing homework)

In addition, school assignments are very exhausting for students because they have (are given or have been) given short target time and students have to complete their task till the end of (by) dead line. I believe that teachers should (ought to) co-operate with students and try to give less home works (homework) because if they got less homework they may (might/ would) get less stress.

Yet some people believe that students should be busy in whole day (all the time) because they want to keep them busy in studies, they think it is goof for their future (i think you'd better rewrite those sentences). For instance they suppose that due to (because of or thanks to) (due to has more negative meaning than those phrases) more assignments they do not do any notorious activity activities and they don’t go out more. Sometimes this thought is good but not every time (this thought is not always true). Students should have (be) relieved from their assignments. They should keep their mind fresh by learning other useful proficiencies.

To sum up all the conclusion (to sum up is enough)teachers should understand (pay attention to) themental level of students and try to give less stress (try to avoid making them stressed) by giving fewer assignments. So that they can be able to learn other useful skills or activities like writing poems, story writing, swimming, cricket etc.