[Essay] Please check my essay for my CNA(certified nursing assistant) training.

[quanb]

The Reason I Want To Become A CNA

My main goal is to become a plastic surgeon and to do this I will need to attend college of course. I recently had a beautiful baby girl and would like to spend time with her, so I've decided to put college on hold at least until the spring semester. When I heard about the CNA program, I thought I should become a CNA to make good money, get acquainted with the field of medicine, and actually have a job doing something I truly love.
I dropped out of high school to obtain my GED and I knew a Burger King or Wendy's job would definitely not support me and my daughter. When you're pregnant and you have no money the main thought going through your mind is 'I have to get a job to support this kid'. So naturally when I first heard about the program this was my main reason. I looked into how much a CNA should make and that alone had me screaming 'Yes, I should become a CNA'. Then I remembered jobs I had in the past that I only wanted for money and how quickly I quit them when I got bored. I did not want to go through these six weeks of training and eventually get a job as a CNA to later find out I hate the job.
Well after I obtained my GED and saw that I was eligible for a scholarship to Hinds, my plans for becoming a plastic surgeon were back on. This is what made me fully commit to wanting to become a CNA. If I'm going to be a plastic surgeon, then I should start at a basic level in the medical field. By the time I actually have to go through my residency, I'll be more comfortable with treating patients and interacting with the nurses because I will have already been in a nurse's shoes and will know how both being a nurse and being a doctor is stressful in different ways. I notice more misunderstandings come from not knowing.
At first I hated science and everything about it but when I started high school and took Biology, my outlook on science quickly changed. I love everything about medicine and the body which is why I decided I wanted to be a plastic surgeon. It was most likely the teacher and how she taught but I learned that medicine is the one thing that will always have something for you to learn everyday. Becoming a CNA is something I will do very well because I will love what I'm doing.
For some, being a CNA is their only goal but for me I plan to go farther and being a CNA is only the first step in my journey. I can learn and make money at the same time. Not only learn and make money but do something I love too. What more can I ask for? I do believe this is right for me.

[Raymott]

Your essay's fine, but I'd delete a few of the references to money.
Also, I think they will place applicants above you who actually want to be nurses, not plastic surgeons. They are going to put resources into your education, and they don't want their graduates leaving for greener pastures as soon as they can.
Just my opinion.

[quanb]

Thank you so much and after reading it again, I do see what you're saying about the references towards money.

[csheywood]

Originally Posted by quanb

The Reason I Want To Become A CNA

My main goal is to become a plastic surgeon and to do this I will need to attend college of course. I recently had a beautiful baby girl and would like to spend time with her, so I've decided to put college on hold at least until the spring semester. When I heard about the CNA program, I thought I should become a CNA to make good money, get acquainted with the field of medicine, and actually have a job doing something I truly love.
I dropped out of high school to obtain my GED and I knew a Burger King or Wendy's job would definitely not support me and my daughter. When you're pregnant and you have no money the main thought going through your mind is 'I have to get a job to support this kid'. So naturally when I first heard about the program this was my main reason. I looked into how much a CNA should make and that alone had me screaming 'Yes, I should become a CNA'. Then I remembered jobs I had in the past that I only wanted for money and how quickly I quit them when I got bored. I did not want to go through these six weeks of training and eventually get a job as a CNA to later find out I hate the job.
Well after I obtained my GED and saw that I was eligible for a scholarship to Hinds, my plans for becoming a plastic surgeon were back on. This is what made me fully commit to wanting to become a CNA. If I'm going to be a plastic surgeon, then I should start at a basic level in the medical field. By the time I actually have to go through my residency, I'll be more comfortable with treating patients and interacting with the nurses because I will have already been in a nurse's shoes and will know how both being a nurse and being a doctor is stressful in different ways. I notice more misunderstandings come from not knowing.
At first I hated science and everything about it but when I started high school and took Biology, my outlook on science quickly changed. I love everything about medicine and the body which is why I decided I wanted to be a plastic surgeon. It was most likely the teacher and how she taught but I learned that medicine is the one thing that will always have something for you to learn everyday. Becoming a CNA is something I will do very well because I will love what I'm doing.
For some, being a CNA is their only goal but for me I plan to go farther and being a CNA is only the first step in my journey. I can learn and make money at the same time. Not only learn and make money but do something I love too. What more can I ask for? I do believe this is right for me.

Hello and welcome,
I am going to put on my nurse's hat for this reply and suggest you may want to think about another approach to your ultimate goal, for the same reasons as was suggested by Raymott. There are good reasons for using a program such as this in order to jump to medicine but, as a senior nurse who used to be involved in recuitment, ultimately we hope that people want to be a nurse and not a doctor. Nursing is a separate job from medicine, even though there is a large amount of overlap.
However, if you really feel you can contribute to the job even for a short time, - and I admire your honesty - to be given a chance for this program you should, as Raymott suggests, remove some of the references to money and say why you think YOU would be good at this job. It would be helpful to include some insight of the patient's experience in your essay to show that you have an idea of what you may have to do. Your interest in science is important but there is an art to the job too - the 'people part'. Medicine is more concerned with therapeutics which is probably what you are interested in and many aspects of nursing are more than being an assistant to a doctor. This is often forgotten.
Hope this will give you something to think about.