correct this sentence

[wml]

original sentence:

The younger boy was about the same age as my little sister. He got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

after correctin:

The younger boy got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

what's wrong with the first setence??

[Tdol]

You've lost the extra information about his age.

[wml]

You've lost the extra information about his age.

noooo... I swear that's the answer.. I copied it from the book
but I dont understand why

[rewboss]

Presumably, whoever did the correcting judged that the boy's age was irrelevant. But if, as you say, "that's the answer", what was the question?

[wml]

It's a grammar multiple choice...

I must choose one correct sentence replace the original one

[Tdol]

What are the other choices?

[wml]

all choices:

A. no change

B. The younger boy was about the same age as my little sister. He got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

C. The younger boy (about the same age as my younger sistrer) got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

D. The younger boy got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

[rewboss]

Well, I still haven't seen the actual question, or the sentence you had to replace. But it's probably more a question of style than grammar.

Choices B and C are problematic because the information about the boy's age interrupts the story. In B, it even sounds as if he got upset because he was the same age as your sister.

The problem with choice C can be seen more clearly if we exaggerate it a bit. For example, imagine you were reading an exciting James Bond novel and you read this sentence:

"Suddenly, the car (which was an E-type Jaguar, not at all like the Aston Martin Bond was driving, but a really great car even though it wasn't very efficient when it came to fuel consumption, and incidentally was painted in British Racing Green) screeched to a halt."

See what I mean? It sounds terrible.

[wml]

haha~

thanks