Quote:
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Originally Posted by tdol Too loose? ;-0 |
Maybe. :wink:
I think I know what the problem is.
- She agreed to marry him, live with him and go through all that life threw at them at his side.
I think what throws the reader is
all that life threw at them etc. For one thing, you have
live (present tense),
go (present tense), then
threw (past tense). Perhaps:
- She agreed to marry him, live with him and go to the ends of the earth with him.
What do you think? :)
(I'm not sure that sentence fits the pattern anyhow, but I'll ask Cas to comment.)
:)