please check my essay

[ss.226]

I would like to go in my dream vacation to Finland, because I always heard about its beautiful forests, pacific lakes and its stunning buildings. I would like to go there in summer days since it is long and cool.

First, I will go to Helsinki the capital of Finland, to look at its ultramodern buildings and do shopping in its diverse shops. Next I would like to relax in Finland's vast the green forests, which is located the countryside. I also would like to have a mellow mode infront of the sparkling lakes in Finland and enjoy the view of the crowded pine trees. After, I will go to southern Finland, to visit the magnificent old, walled castles and walk in its ancient roads. At the last I would go to Finland's huge wood factory to buy souvenirs.

Finally, when I go to my family and friends, I will show them my pictures, give them some of the souvenirs and tell them about what I did in Finland.

[seie]

I would like to go to my dream vacation in Finland, because I always hear about its beautiful forests, pacific lakes and its stunning buildings. I would like to go there in summer days since it is long and cool.
First, I will go to Helsinki the capital of Finland, to look at its ultramodern buildings and do shopping in its diverse shops. Next I would like to relax in Finland's vast green forests, which are located in the countryside. I also would like to have a mellow mode infront of the sparkling lakes in Finland and enjoy the view of the crowded pine trees. After, I will go to southern Finland, to visit the magnificent old walled castles, and walk on its ancient roads. At last I would go to Finland's huge wood factory to buy souvenirs.
Finally, when I go to my family and friends, I will show them my pictures, give them some of the souvenirs and tell them about what I did in Finland.

Corrected Version

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by ss.226

I would like to go in my dream vacation to Finland, because I have always heard about its beautiful forests, pacific lakes and its stunning buildings. I would like to go there on summer days since it is long and cool. (Finland is long and cool? What does "it" refer to?)

First, I will would go to Helsinki, the capital of Finland, to look at its ultramodern buildings and do go shopping in its diverse shops. Next I would like to relax in Finland's vast the green forests, which is are located the countryside. Do you really need to say that the forests are in the countryside?
I would also like to have a mellow mode (what's a mellow mode?) in front of the sparkling lakes in Finland and enjoy the view of the crowded pine trees. After that (or Later,), I would (You can't change from 'would' to 'will' like this) go to southern Finland, to visit the magnificent old, walled castles and walk in along its ancient roads. At the last I would go to Finland's huge wood factory to buy souvenirs.
Finally, when I go to my family and friends, I will show them my pictures, give them some of the souvenirs and tell them about what I did in Finland.

R.