Commercial voice over

[patran]

Dear teachers

I am studying an English language course, and my teacher uses the following commercial voice over to illustrate bad spoken English, he said the intonation is no good. But I think the voice over is good. Would like to seek second opinion how the voice over can be improved.

1983 - Commercial - YouTube.flv - YouTube

Regards

Anthony the learner

[Raymott]

Dear teachers

I am studying an English language course, and my teacher uses the following commercial voice over to illustrate bad spoken English, he said the intonation is no good. But I think the voice over is good. Would like to seek second opinion how the voice over can be improved.

1983 - Commercial - YouTube.flv - YouTube

Regards

Anthony the learner

As a voice over, it's acceptable. As normal speech, it would be terrible. I think that's what your teacher is saying.
For example, if someone asks you about your new watch, you don't answer in that intonation.

[susiedq]

It's very formal, flat and curt British.

It is supposed to inform the viewer, not entertain or even engage the viewer.

I don't think advertising voice-overs is a good place to study everyday speech. By definition, they are gimicky and exaggerated.

Better to listen to audio books or even TV newscasts.