Accent - Please can someone help me with this...

[Kapky]

Hi, I am recently doing a study on different English accents and I came across this video with Micky Flannagan
(YouTube - Mintys Comedian Of The Month April 2008 - Micky Flannagan). The problem is I can not solve a few sentences he says in the last few seconds (from 7:13-7:53)...

I can not understand the final part when he exactly says "there´s another celebrity chef..." and so on till the end when he ends with "get us a bargain bucket." I need the exact words
Can someone help me with this? I would be very grateful .

[nlgarcia]

This is what I understood from 7:13 to 7:53:

Every time I turn on the TV there's another celebrity chef making a career ad for himself by being some sort of Taliban personality. Go to Ramsey. Not sleep at work. Shout at people. Don't mess up in Gould's kitchen - I'd last about 5 minutes worth of Gould. If he stared at me, I'd be like: "Gould, Gould, we're doing a b*** dinner, mate. We're not sorting out the Middle East here. You know what I mean? If it all goes 'tits up' I'll get us a bairgan b***."

I know know if the italicized words are correct. I hope this helps!