please help me check a memo
Please help me check a memo in terms of diction, sentence structures and language style. Thank you.
Memo
To: All staff
From: Liu Yueyue
Date: September 19
Subject: A trip to Thailand
The total net profits of our company have increased by 40% in the third quarter compared with the profits in last quarter. Excited news for all. I hereby show my sincere thanks to you for all you have done.
Obviously, it can not be denied that it is your creativity, positivity and initiative, our company that make our company top in this industry and that it is your great effort and precious time that yield good profits.
To return your pay, I suggest a free five-day trip to Thailand including transportation, accommodation, meals, and round-trip international airplane ticket. If you have any question, please contact my assistant at 18971393955.
Re: please help me check a memo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ziawj2 
Please help me check a memo in terms of diction, sentence structures and language style. Thank you.
Memo
To: All staff
From: Liu Yueyue
Date: September 19
Subject: A trip to Thailand
The total net profits of our company have has increased by 40% in the third quarter compared with the profits in last quarter. Excited Exciting news for all. I hereby show offer my sincere thanks to you for all you have done.
Obviously, it can not be denied that it is your creativity, positivity positive attitude and initiative, our company that make our company tops in this industry and that it is your great effort and precious time that yield good profits.
To return your pay contribution, I suggest a free five-day trip to Thailand including transportation, accommodations, meals, and round-trip international airplane ticket. If you have any questions, please contact my assistant at 18971393955.
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