[Essay] lose concentration

[Ashiuhto]

Please help me correct the following paragrapah. Thanks!

We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late or all night and don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result, they need to get more time to make up their sleep at daytime. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. Under the vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia which makes people drained and lose concentration.

 

[Ashiuhto]

biological clock

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late or all night and don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result, they need to get more time to make up their sleep at daytime. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. Under the vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia which makes people drained and lose concentration.

 

[billmcd]

Re: biological clock

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

We found that most people who suffer from insomnia [STRIKE] almost [/STRIKE] usually have an unhealthy lifestyle. [STRIKE]They[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]always[/STRIKE] Many stay up late or all night and generally, don’t get enough [STRIKE]amount[/STRIKE][STRIKE] of [/STRIKE] sleep. [STRIKE]As a result ,[/STRIKE] They need [STRIKE] to get [/STRIKE] more time during the day to make up their lack of sleep [STRIKE]at daytime[/STRIKE]. [STRIKE]Therefore,[/STRIKE] As a result, their biological clock has been reversed. Under [STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] this vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia, [STRIKE] which [/STRIKE] [STRIKE] makes people [/STRIKE] which drains their energy [STRIKE] drained [/STRIKE] and [STRIKE] lose [/STRIKE] causes loss of concentration.

Suggestions.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please help me correct the following paragrapah. Thanks!

We found that most people who suffer from insomnia [STRIKE]almost[/STRIKE] have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late (or all night​) and don’t get enough [STRIKE]amount[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] sleep. As a result, they need to [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]time[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] make up for that lack of [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] sleep [STRIKE]at[/STRIKE] during the day[STRIKE]time[/STRIKE]. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. [STRIKE]Under[/STRIKE] Due to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] this vicious [STRIKE]spiral[/STRIKE] circle, they feel extremely tired and exhausted (tautologous - exhausted means extremely tired), and they are [STRIKE]gradually[/STRIKE] tortured by insomnia, [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]makes[/STRIKE] making [STRIKE]people[/STRIKE] them feel drained and causing them to lose concentration.

See my amendments above. You really can't be gradually tortured!

 

[emsr2d2]

Ashiuhto, PLEASE stop posting the same paragraph for correction more than once. Your two threads were identical in content but had different titles. Consequently, billmcd took time correcting one of them, and I took time correcting the other. This is not only confusing for us and for you, but is also becoming a waste of our time.

Please look through all the threads you have posted and delete any duplicates. Please be far more careful with your posts in future. We appear to be writing your entire essay/thesis on insomnia for you, two or three sentences at a time which is really not acceptable, but it's even worse if we end up doing it twice.