[Application] Motivation letter for University

[marchuljonis]

Hello there,
I am student who wants to study psychology at University of Western Australia..
So for the application i must send them a motivation letter..
Can you please read this letter and tell me what you think
Thank you


I am Marko. I am from small town in Macedonia called Kumanovo. But.But i feel like a citizen of the earth
I love people and i believe that in every human there is something good that we need to see.
I help whenever i can to everybody, i am good friend and i know to listen when people are talking.
I love to go out and hangout with people on my age i am considered like funny and communicative person.
I think that people are accepting me like i am. My favorite hobby is reading books and playing basketball.
I live healthy tran hard and eat healthy.


Working for many year as volunteer in the red cross organization, i realized that.
Psychology was always my passion, i was always fascinated about people, how people react in different situations and how our brain works
I love reading psychology books and i love to read how real psychologist are solving some peoples problems.
I love psychology because you get to know more about myself and other people I mean that's the one of the important thing isn't it ?
To be able to understand people, solve their problems and change their life for better. That`s just amazing. There is no better feeling for me than that.


I found about University of Western Australia from my grandmother who`s living in Perth and i find this program and university very interesting.
University of Western Australia will help me to be the best person and psychologist that i can be.
Also i love that there are many students international students as well in this university, because beside studying i love hanging out with people, making new friends, sharing and hearing different story's from people all around the world.
I have heard many good things about Australia, that's way i want to meet your culture, your country and your tradition.
And i know that with my passion for psychology and your help i will become the person that i want to be.
I am eager to gain new experiences and in my opinion this program is the best way to achieve that. I am positive that the University of Western Australia would be an excellent start for an ambitious business career.


Thank you for considering my application


Sincerely yours

 

[eleni_d]

Hi Marko,

Has the University given any instructions about what applicants should include in their motivation letters? I don't think they are interested in the information provided in the first paragraph. You should probably write about your "academic" qualifications, your school experience etc. Just search the Google for motivational letters for undergraduate studies and you will find many samples.

As for the language: You should always use "I" instead of "i" when you refer to yourself. Pay attention to the paragraphs, don't press enter after every sentence. Try to use conjunctions (words like "although", "unless", "because") between sentences so the paragraphs look like more coherent. Finally, it's not a business career (you want to be a psychologist, not a manager), it is either "an ambitious professional career" or "an ambitious career as an psychologist".