modar
Member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2015
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Arabic
- Home Country
- Syria
- Current Location
- Syria
Hello everyone,
I wrote a scene (more like a teaser) in which two guards are dragging one man to cast him down into an abandoned cave. The following lines are spoken by a narrator ( the cave guard ) who is watching the whole thing.
"He's not the first and he won't be the last, for the weak must always pay for the mistakes of powerful.
These countless years of watching men cast down, never to return, have made me realize that only an unearthly power could put an end to this madness."
English isn't my native language so I hope you guys can give me some advice to enhance grammar, logic and most of all the fluency of the lines,
and please don't be shy, if the text sucks or it sounds clumsy just say it.
Thank you.
I wrote a scene (more like a teaser) in which two guards are dragging one man to cast him down into an abandoned cave. The following lines are spoken by a narrator ( the cave guard ) who is watching the whole thing.
"He's not the first and he won't be the last, for the weak must always pay for the mistakes of powerful.
These countless years of watching men cast down, never to return, have made me realize that only an unearthly power could put an end to this madness."
English isn't my native language so I hope you guys can give me some advice to enhance grammar, logic and most of all the fluency of the lines,
and please don't be shy, if the text sucks or it sounds clumsy just say it.
Thank you.
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