[Grammar] Please help me with correcting my short essay

[rasoolAsal]

Hi,
This is my short essay, I hope it make scene.
Please correct my mistakes.I am a beginner student.

Taking care of our elderly was always been an important duty of our life because they had cared us when we were child and we must make a serious plan to respect and honor them.
Recently in china people is face a new challenge of elderly care because aging population is in a increasing rate unlike birth rate and aging population will create some problems for the society.
On of the reasons of creation of this phenomenon is for one-child strict policy that had been run for many years in china, this rule made the the birth rate in a danger rate.
So what happened is one person should take care of either his parents and grandparents but who can afford it?
China must find a way to solve this issue, otherwise it have to set a big budget to take care of their elderly in the future.


Regards,
Mohammad

 

[TheParser]

NOT A TEACHER

Hello, Mohammad:

Being elderly myself, I found your paragraph very interesting and informative. I understood perfectly what you wanted to say. As a beginner, you are doing very well. Congratulations! I have made a few changes in order to make your paragraph more concise.

*****

In China, grown children caring for their elderly parents and grandparents has long been a cherished duty and privilege.

In recent years, however, while the aging population continues to increase, the birth rate is declining. The one-child policy, which was in effect until recently, is one reason for this disparity.

One person cannot be expected to shoulder the burden of supporting all of one's elderly relatives.

Unless China finds a solution to this problem, the care of the elderly is going to impose a growing strain on the national budget.