A reminder notice to a customer

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greenhouse

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Joined
Nov 28, 2013
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Student or Learner
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Hindi
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India
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Canada
How do I write a professional reminder notice to my customer? I would like to get some help from someone on this forum. Thank you.


Dear Customer:

This is to remind you that an instrument “Baroque Violin” you borrowed from “Get-Tuned” is now overdue. Item was loaned to you for two weeks and was supposed to be returned by 4:00pm on Feb. the 16th.Desperately, other customers are seeking for this item in the store. Due to high demand and to avoid incurring fines, we request you that you return this item as soon as possible. A late charge for this item is $3.00 per day. More importantly, this item is owned by another instrument store; therefore, if it is not returned soon, we will have to notify the owner. In case the item is damaged or lost, you will be responsible for full replacement cost.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.
 
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Dear Customer:

This is to remind you that an instrument “
Baroque Violin” you borrowed from “Get-Tuned” is now overdue. Item was loaned to you for two weeks and was supposed to be returned by 4:00pm on Feb. the 16[SUP]th[/SUP].[STRIKE]Desperately,[/STRIKE] Other customers are desperately seeking for this item in the store. Due to high demand and to avoid incurring fines, we request you that you return this item as soon as possible. A late charge for this item is $3.00 per day. More importantly, this item is owned by another instrument store; therefore, if it is not returned soon, we will have to notify the owner. In case the item is damaged or lost, you will be responsible for full replacement cost.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.
That's good enough for the purpose. You don't really need "desperately". You could also leave out the bits in grey.
 
Perhaps:

Other customers are asking for this item.
 
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