As you open the door of the villa

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alpacinou

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Hello

I am trying to describe a villa I saw last night for myself. I know you have not seen the villa but could you tell me if this sentence is correct?

As you open the door of the villa, you see a spacious living room with a high ceiling. There are two chandeliers hanging over the main hall and a few paintings on the walls. There are a few windows around the living room. There is also a tall mirror in the corner. The villa is a duplex and there is a staircase in the middle of the living room which leads you to the bedrooms upstairs.
 
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Are the living room and the main hall the same space?
 
It's not bad. I'm not sure why you've used the preposition around.

I assume the mirror is in the living room but that's not completely clear. You might want to splice the third and fourth sentences together.
 
I have moved your thread.

When you want your own writing to be edited or proofread, please post it here in Editing & Writing Topics.
 
In the middle of the living room, there is a staircase leading to the upstairs bedrooms.
 
Hello

I am trying to describe a villa I saw last night [STRIKE]for myself[/STRIKE]. I know you have not seen the villa, but could you tell me if [STRIKE]this sentence is[/STRIKE] these sentences are correct?

As you open the door of the villa, you see a spacious living room with a high ceiling. There are two chandeliers in the main hall and a few paintings on the walls. There are a few windows around the living room. There is also a tall mirror in the corner. The villa is a duplex, and there is a staircase in the middle of the living room which leads [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] to the bedrooms upstairs.

It's hardly worth mentioning that there are windows. Also, I imagine that the place is much fancier than your description.

Perhaps:

The windows of the living room give the place an airy look.

Why are certain phrases underlined?
 
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I imagine that the place is much fancier than your description.

Yes it was a very fancy place. Could you please tell me how I can make my description more fancy?
 
I'm having trouble picturing a staircase in the middle of the living room.
 
The OP may try to describe the classic furnishings, such as furniture, lighting, carpets, curtains, wallpaper etc.
 
You have used "there are" and "there is" four times in your text, which is a sign of bad writing. Instead of writing "There are two chandeliers in the main room...", you can write "Two chandeliers hang in the main room." And then something like this, "The windows have a view of a beautiful garden. A tall mirror stands in the corner."


I am not a teacher.
 
Yes it is a very fancy place. Could you please tell me how I can make my description better?

A few well-placed adjectives might help. The first sentence is good, but after that there are problems. Perhaps: "I was really impressed with the place. I had never seen such ornate, expensive furnishings."

I wouldn't mention the mirror in the corner without saying why I wanted to comment on it. What was remarkable about the windows that made it necessary to comment on them? What did you feel when you looked at the villa, both inside and outside?

It is helpful to look at things from the reader's viewpoint.
 
"Two chandeliers hang from the ceiling in the main room" works.
:)
 
I think of inversion: "In the middle of the living room is a staircase, which leads to the upstairs bedrooms."
 
Excuse me, I meant to say maybe I should not have used "living room".
 
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