rodgers white
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2016
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.
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Gan, forced to rest, kept himself busy by thinking about the future and what ideas from his city he could use to benefit his new people without breaking his promise to keep the most advanced technology secret. Although his mind was full of such thoughts, it didn’t make him blind to the continuing attention his daughter was receiving from Xunying; but it did make him smile.
It turned out that Xunying was the artist that had climbed to the mountaintop to draw the panoramic view of the valley, and Gan had been very impressed by his skill and ingenuity. Gan was now looking over Yang’s shoulder at a drawing Xunying had just handed him moments before. It was a beautiful but frightful depiction of Moogh’s run to the cave with Suxin and Meili on his back; this drawing, unlike the panorama, did not omit any emotion at all.
Xunying had not been there, but like many others, Xunying had sat and listened to Suxin describing the event. Her added expressiveness of arms flailing and facial contortions as she mimicked Moogh, his eyes wide and nostrils flaring, his back half going one way while his front half went another, had made great entertainment. Gan had thought his granddaughter was a great little actress. This drawing, however; this drawing was beautiful, frightful, but beautiful.
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Gan, forced to rest, kept himself busy by thinking about the future and what ideas from his city he could use to benefit his new people without breaking his promise to keep the most advanced technology secret. Although his mind was full of such thoughts, it didn’t make him blind to the continuing attention his daughter was receiving from Xunying; but it did make him smile.
It turned out that Xunying was the artist that had climbed to the mountaintop to draw the panoramic view of the valley, and Gan had been very impressed by his skill and ingenuity. Gan was now looking over Yang’s shoulder at a drawing Xunying had just handed him moments before. It was a beautiful but frightful depiction of Moogh’s run to the cave with Suxin and Meili on his back; this drawing, unlike the panorama, did not omit any emotion at all.
Xunying had not been there, but like many others, Xunying had sat and listened to Suxin describing the event. Her added expressiveness of arms flailing and facial contortions as she mimicked Moogh, his eyes wide and nostrils flaring, his back half going one way while his front half went another, had made great entertainment. Gan had thought his granddaughter was a great little actress. This drawing, however; this drawing was beautiful, frightful, but beautiful.