Hello, t[FONT="]hanks a lot for your feedback!
Concerning my question again.[/FONT]
[FONT="]To explain myself better, two remarks:
[FONT="]1: It is a fact that in all languages, when it comes to poetry, there is plenty of metaphors and often a reversed order in syntax/grammar.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2: In song writing, even more limits exist, as care must be taken of matching the music rhythm accents and the language phonetic stress on the words! (E.g., in French the phonetic stress goes ALWAYS on the last syllable in ALL words, so it's quite hard to write French lyrics to music without the danger of "prosody" - except when it is in French traditional "chanson" style where the music follows the language.)[/FONT]
[FONT="]So I think it's better that I provide the entire text of my lyrics. Here it is (the lines in doubt in red):
[/FONT]
[FONT="]MY NYMPH[/FONT]
[FONT="](Verse 1)[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]Dear lady,[/FONT]
[FONT="]after searching for so long, a long run,[/FONT]
[FONT="]I see you now having crossed my way/path. I'm stunned![/FONT][FONT="] (Ok?)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Charm and grace,[/FONT]
[FONT="]you turn to me your sparkling eyes, so fine,[/FONT]
[FONT="]and your smiling lips, and dancing steps, my kind![/FONT]
[FONT="](Chorus 1)[/FONT]
[FONT="]You nice lady, you true nymph,[/FONT]
[FONT="]let me ask you be my chosen one.[/FONT]
[FONT="]You dear lady, you true nymph,[/FONT]
[FONT="]be my lady, have my soul and song.[/FONT]
[FONT="](Verse 2)[/FONT]
[FONT="]My lady,[/FONT]
[FONT="]you who came like a living myth, [/FONT][FONT="]a light/shine/glow/sun beam[/FONT][FONT="], ("beam of light" doesn't "match" with the music!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]will we join and share our joys and pains, my dream?[/FONT]
[FONT="]Charming you,[/FONT]
[FONT="]I will play for you my songs and rhymes,[/FONT]
[FONT="]I will give you all my passion flames, all times.[/FONT]
[FONT="]or:[/FONT]
[FONT="]A. "And my flames of passion are for you, all times"
B. "And my flames of passion will touch you, all times"
C. "And my flames of passion will hug you, all times"[/FONT]
[FONT="](Chorus 2)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Precious lady, my true nymph,[/FONT]
[FONT="]dance your graceful steps around the trees.[/FONT]
[FONT="]My dear lady, my true myth,[/FONT]
[FONT="]it's our day One, a dream came true like breeze,[/FONT]
[FONT="]my nymph![/FONT]
[FONT="](A cappella)[/FONT]
[FONT="]It's our day One, a dream came true, my nymph![/FONT][/FONT]