David became furious when a woman

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?

David became furious when a woman a few seats behind him complained that he was talking too loud. He swung around and gave her a murderous stare. "If you've such sensitive ears, you shouldn't travel by bus, madam," he said louder this time. "Take a taxi, and you'll never hear people like me again. I've been talking loud all my life and don't have any intention to be silent just because I'm on the bus." The woman blushed, and lowered her eyes. An awkward silence fell over the passengers, who picked up their smartphones, pretending they got some important messages that attracted their attention. But David was in a quarrelsome mood. "Bloody Hell!" he shouted. "You're bothered with my loud voice, but you're not bothered that thousands homeless people will spend this cold night on the streets. And this is one of the richest countries in the world! No wonder we're in such a mess!" He became silent, but punched the air with his fist. They're all cowards, he thought. They're afraid of their own thoughts. They'll always do what they have been told, but not me. I'd rather shout than keep everything inside and then explode when it's too late.

 

[Tarheel]

The first two sentences are quite good. I would make only a minor change to the third sentence. I would change the ending a bit. Perhaps:

he said--louder this time.

Or:

he said--even louder than before.

You have a way of drawing characters so that they seem real.
:up:

 

[Bassim]

When I start writing, I often see the scene in front of me as if I am watching a film. Sometimes, I am inside and can almost touch people I'm describing. There are some advantages of being alone. You use your brain in different way then other people do and don't bother with trivialities, like for example how you are going to celebrate Christmas or what colour of curtains you are going to buy. There is only you and your mind, and often that is enough.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Take a taxi and you won't have to put up with my loud voice, you bitch!
;-)

thousands of homeless people

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

The woman blushed and lowered her eyes.
(no comma)

Perhaps:

An awkward silence fell over the passengers, who picked up their smartphones, pretending they had received some important messages that attracted their attention.

Finished!

 

[Tdol]

How about They'll always do what they're told?