[General] English world perception

[Marina Gaidar]

Hi there!
Can you help me, please, with such an issue. I am not a native speaker (my mother tongue is Russian), so I often come across difficulties connected with different world perception. I am working on a scenarion now, which should be in English. Can you, please, tell me whether these names sound normal in English (they all are fictional). Murrain Clough - for an evil city; Goddark - for a god of evil; Godinis - for a god of good; Verge city; Doom - for a god of justice. One more thing... would it spoil your impression from a movie, if there would be some foreign unreadable names like Chernobog for a god of evil (which I had to translate into English as Goddark)?

 

[Raymott]

Hi there!
Can you help me, please, with such an issue. I am not a native speaker (my mother tongue is Russian), so I often come across difficulties connected with different world perception. I am working on a scenarion now, which should be in English. Can you, please, tell me whether these names sound normal in English (they all are fictional). Murrain Clough - for an evil city; Goddark - for a god of evil; Godinis - for a god of good; Verge city; Doom - for a god of justice. One more thing... would it spoil your impression from a movie, if there would be some foreign unreadable names like Chernobog for a god of evil (which I had to translate into English as Goddark)?

No they don't sound normal, but you're writing fantasy - the names are supposed to be unfamiliar. Doom, as the name of a God of justice sounds ill-advised. What's "verge city" an example of?
Chernobog is not hard in English, though nor is Goddark.
I'd say that this naming is the least of the problems you will encounter though.

 

[Barb_D]

Hello Marina and welcome to Using English. You have asked some interesting questions.

I would not think of "Murrain Clough" as the name of a city, because "Clough" doesn't mean anything to me that sounds "city-like."

Chernobog sounds find too. I'd say it as "churn-oh-bog." If we can make it through the names in Lord of the Rings, we can make it through anything!

Goddark and Godonis sound fine, but "Doom" is a word with bad connotations, so it doesn't sound like justice to me - it sounds like death.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Well, I should explain that Murrain Clough is a city of the Evil which is situated in a deep clough.

Verge city is a city between those ones of the Good and the Evil.

Doom... yes, ill-advised for a god of justice, but he is supposed to be a traitor is it ok for a bad guy?

Of course, I didn't mean that somebody cannot manage to read something like Chernobog (after such a challenge as Lord of the Rings. I just wonder will this name give any idea about a character, may be it is better to translate it in order to give the audience some understanding?

 

[Barb_D]

I don't understand how you translate a proper name. I'd leave it in the original.
Verge City will require a capital C.
I don't know what a "clough" is so that's why Murrain Clough doesn't sound like a city to me. Perhaps other dialectcs of English have this word.
I still advise against "Doom." "Doom" means something bad is certain to happen. Even if he's a traitor, it's a bad name for god of justice.

Regardless of which names you choose, have fun with it.

 

[SoothingDave]

I just wonder will this name give any idea about a character, may be it is better to translate it in order to give the audience some understanding?​

Leave some exercises to the reader. ;-)

 

[abaka]

If you don't want to use the Slavic names...

I'd say leave Chernobog as a name for the Black God untranslated. It's close enough to Chernobyl, and the dark (Pripet!) marshes (for those readers who know something of real-world geography) that it probably carries enough negative power.

For the god of justice, use something with the root Fate. It is close enough to the Fates, and to the Fas or the divine law, that the point should carry -- and it also matches the Russian root you are grappling with.

For the White God, try something with the root Lux or light, but stay away from Lucifer.

...These are only suggestions, of course.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Yes, Chernobog sounds similar to Chernobyl - a very strong comparison! Thank you for this good idea! Such comparison will reveal some characteristics of the protagonist. Absolutely agree about negative power - I live in Ukraine.

Fate - Fates - Fas - sounds great!

No Lucifer, I promise

Thank you for very useful tips!;-)

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Leave some exercises to the reader. ;-)

It will be probably the best decision

 

[Marina Gaidar]

I don't understand how you translate a proper name.

Well, sometimes it is possible, like in Harry Potter-like cases when the names have some special connotation to be rendered.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

I don't know what a "clough" is so that's why Murrain Clough doesn't sound like a city to me. Perhaps other dialectcs of English have this word.

I've checked this word on dictionary.com. It says that 'clough' is from some dialect. What dialect it could be? I have no idea. 'Clough' is something like gorge.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Thank you for all the responses! Very helpful!:up:

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Regardless of which names you choose, have fun with it.

Thanks! I'll try!

 

[Marina Gaidar]

Hello Marina and welcome to Using English.

Thank you! I have been looking for such a useful forum for ages!

 

[emsr2d2]

I assumed that Murrain Clough was a person. The first word looks like it might be a Gaelic first name, and Clough is a common surname in BrE.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

I assumed that Murrain Clough was a person. The first word looks like it might be a Gaelic first name, and Clough is a common surname in BrE.

Really? And you never use 'clough' as a synonym to gorge?

 

[Rover_KE]

Really? And you never use 'clough' as a synonym to gorge?

No, we don't.

 

[emsr2d2]

Really? And you never use 'clough' as a synonym to gorge?

No. I'd never come across that meaning.

 

[Marina Gaidar]

My God! It will torture me! What dialect is it????? I'll try to find. Anyway, thank you for advices!

 

[Marina Gaidar]

"ravine with a river," O.E. cloh (in place names), of uncertain origin.