give and take

[ghoul]

"give and take"

Do you feel like I've used the phrase correctly in this context? My intent was to say they're giving about as much as they're receiving in terms of support which I believe is in line with the phrases' definition of "exchanging on an even basis".
A: "What appeals to you about having this saviour role?"
B: "Saving all the people who care about me from their bad feelings makes me happy!"
A: "Makes sense, that's give and take."

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm afraid I don't understand any of it. What "saviour role" are you talking about? I can't work out what B is talking about doing. Forget the dialogue for now and please explain the context in full.

 

[ghoul]

I'm afraid I don't understand any of it. What "saviour role" are you talking about? I can't work out what B is talking about doing. Forget the dialogue for now and please explain the context in full.

B likes befriending people and being emotionally supportive toward them; sometimes even emotionally unstable ones who urgently need that. That's their way of "saving" them and that is what I meant by "saviour role".

 

[5jj]

I see no give and take there.

 

[ghoul]

I see no give and take there.

I see it this way: The "give" lies within them saving the other person emotionally and the "take" lies, although not directly mentioned, within the other person caring about them and and the sense of happiness they stated they get from that.
Admittedly, I can see someone not seeing the "taking"-part as enough for an equal exchange but that's the general idea.

 

[5jj]

Give and take is not appropriate in that situation.

 

[ghoul]

Give and take is not appropriate in that situation.

Can you expand on that? Why isn't it appropriate in that situation and what are the requirements for it to be?

 

[emsr2d2]

Can you expand on that? Why isn't it appropriate in that situation and what are the requirements for it to be?

It's usually used when there is some kind of compromise involved. For example, I might tell my boss that I'm going to resign if I don't get a 5% pay rise. He says he's only prepared to offer 2%. I demand 4%. He (probably grudgingly) offers 3% and an extra two days' annual leave every year. I agree.
There has been compromise on both sides. I've accepted a lower pay rise than I asked for. He's offered more than he originally wanted to. The result is we came to an agreement. There has been a bit of "give and take" on both sides.

 

[ghoul]

It's usually used when there is some kind of compromise involved. For example, I might tell my boss that I'm going to resign if I don't get a 5% pay rise. He says he's only prepared to offer 2%. I demand 4%. He (probably grudgingly) offers 3% and an extra two days' annual leave every year. I agree.
There has been compromise on both sides. I've accepted a lower pay rise than I asked for. He's offered more than he originally wanted to. The result is we came to an agreement. There has been a bit of "give and take" on both sides.

I'm aware that there's a definition that says that.
But I thought the other definition I quoted at first, "exchanging on an even basis", meant what I intended to say. Perhaps I misunderstood that? Let's talk about that. I can't find a dictionary entry for "on an even basis"; so, what does that phrase actually mean and what does "exchange on an even basis" mean?

Also, what alternative phrase could I use to describe in short what they were doing? Perhaps "that's giving and taking"?

 

[5jj]

exchanging on an even basis".

I can't find those words on the page you linked us to.

 

[ghoul]

I can't find those words on the page you linked us to.

Weird. It's entry three.

 

[5jj]

I need new spectacles.

 

[ghoul]

I need new spectacles.

So, did I use the phrase in accordance with that particular meaning of it? I'm unsure, actually.

 

[emsr2d2]

So, did I use the phrase in accordance with that particular meaning of it? I'm unsure, actually.

Are you still talking about how you used it in post #1?

 

[ghoul]

Are you still talking about how you used it in post #1?

Yes.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please read posts 4, 6 and 8 again. I don't see how you can still be unsure whether it was appropriate or not.

 

[Rover_KE]

I need new spectacles.

Try my optician – Seymour Clearly.

 

[ghoul]

Please read posts 4, 6 and 8 again. I don't see how you can still be unsure whether it was appropriate or not.

I understood the explanation you gave. It's in line with the phrases' definition from the dictionary I posted, "meaning that people must compromise or cooperate for something to be successful". But there's that other definition I mentioned, "exchanging on an even basis" and I need someone to explain what that means and why that doesn't apply to my example dialogue.

 

[emsr2d2]

To be honest, I'm not sure I know what they mean by "exchanging on an even basis". My best guess would be something like me giving you a painting worth £1,000 in exchange for you giving me a car worth £1,000. If that's the kind of thing they're suggesting, I would argue that that's not what "give and take" means!
It's interesting to note that, in BrE at least, the phrase itself is frequently preceded by "a [little] bit of". That wouldn't work if we were talking about a straight swap, which is what "exchanging on an even basis" means to me. Here's an example dialogue:

Dave: Can you help me with my party on Saturday evening?
Helen: Sure. What do you need?
Dave: I need you to buy all the booze, sort the food and decorate the room.
Helen: Hmmm. That's quite a lot. What are you going to do?
Dave: I'm providing the venue by hosting it at my house.
Helen: OK, but that doesn't really seem very fair on me. Could you at least do the food yourself?
Dave: I won't have time. I'll be too busy sorting my clothes and hair for the evening.
Helen: Well, I can't do it all. Come on! There's got to be a bit of give and take here.
Dave: OK. I suppose I could buy the alcohol but I can't manage anything else.
Helen: I guess that'll have to do. It had better be the best party I've ever been to!!

 

[jutfrank]

Try my optician – Seymour Clearly.

I think he's a colleague of my ophthalmologist — Ivan I. Payne

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)