ielts-student
Member
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2016
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- German
- Home Country
- Germany
- Current Location
- Germany
Dear UsingEnglish members,
I am preparing myself for the GRE and I need some support with essay correction and analysis.
I am not a native speaker and writing has always been my Achilles' heel; therefore I would like to kindly ask for help.
- Could you please evaluate the following essay (30min) according to Grammar and reasoning perspectives?
and every suggestion counts
Thank you in advance.
ielts-student.
____________________________________________________
Claim: Major policy decisions should always be left to politicians and other government experts.
Reason: Politicians and other government experts are more informed and thus have better judgment and perspective than do members of the general public.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
The issue of participation of general public in politic decisions has long been discussed. If, in Greece, the political decisions were led by some men in the Ágora, the situation in current time did not differ that much: instead of Greek vestments, these men use suit and tie. One may question oneself, if they – also called politicians and government experts – are apt for deciding the most relevant points of a country. This essay denies their total ability of reaching great political choices by themselves and provides arguments for an augmented participation of population in the governmental decisions.
In a well-defined democracy the general public should be part of the policy decision making process. The consequences of political decisions will impact directly the lives of people; therefore, people should be enfranchised and participate in politics. Although some people advocate that politicians and government experts are more informed than general public and, therefore, they should be capable of reaching good decision, we may find in politics several cases that do not follow this trend. Take, for instance, the financial crash in 2007 in which the whole global economy was affected. Mainly experts from big banks supported by political policies were able to undervalue the risks of the real estate credit market, leading into years of economic recession worldwide. Here, we see a clear example of how experts misconstrue reality and can lead into political and economic problems.
Furthermore, one should also consider the possibility of self-interest conflicts in political decisions. For instance, consider the case of a businessman who owns several companies in the textile industry. There is a chance that he will vote for decisions that support or foster the development of this sector – even if this causes negative outcomes for the government or population itself. By allowing the general public to participate in political discussions, one reduces the risk of conflict of interests, leading into a more unbiased government.
However, the public participation in political decisions should also be supported by an increased political awareness. One cannot vote without clear knowledge of the consequences. Thus, it is obvious to state that political education is foundational for a high impacting political system.
In conclusion, the participation of general public in political decisions should be increase due to the outcomes of public policies in their lives and the risk of self-interest decisions by politician and experts.
I am preparing myself for the GRE and I need some support with essay correction and analysis.
I am not a native speaker and writing has always been my Achilles' heel; therefore I would like to kindly ask for help.
- Could you please evaluate the following essay (30min) according to Grammar and reasoning perspectives?
and every suggestion counts
Thank you in advance.
ielts-student.
____________________________________________________
Claim: Major policy decisions should always be left to politicians and other government experts.
Reason: Politicians and other government experts are more informed and thus have better judgment and perspective than do members of the general public.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
The issue of participation of general public in politic decisions has long been discussed. If, in Greece, the political decisions were led by some men in the Ágora, the situation in current time did not differ that much: instead of Greek vestments, these men use suit and tie. One may question oneself, if they – also called politicians and government experts – are apt for deciding the most relevant points of a country. This essay denies their total ability of reaching great political choices by themselves and provides arguments for an augmented participation of population in the governmental decisions.
In a well-defined democracy the general public should be part of the policy decision making process. The consequences of political decisions will impact directly the lives of people; therefore, people should be enfranchised and participate in politics. Although some people advocate that politicians and government experts are more informed than general public and, therefore, they should be capable of reaching good decision, we may find in politics several cases that do not follow this trend. Take, for instance, the financial crash in 2007 in which the whole global economy was affected. Mainly experts from big banks supported by political policies were able to undervalue the risks of the real estate credit market, leading into years of economic recession worldwide. Here, we see a clear example of how experts misconstrue reality and can lead into political and economic problems.
Furthermore, one should also consider the possibility of self-interest conflicts in political decisions. For instance, consider the case of a businessman who owns several companies in the textile industry. There is a chance that he will vote for decisions that support or foster the development of this sector – even if this causes negative outcomes for the government or population itself. By allowing the general public to participate in political discussions, one reduces the risk of conflict of interests, leading into a more unbiased government.
However, the public participation in political decisions should also be supported by an increased political awareness. One cannot vote without clear knowledge of the consequences. Thus, it is obvious to state that political education is foundational for a high impacting political system.
In conclusion, the participation of general public in political decisions should be increase due to the outcomes of public policies in their lives and the risk of self-interest decisions by politician and experts.
