How People Should Behave

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Erbab

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Hi,

I am preparing for IELTS, and this is my sample essay written as an answer of the question below. I would be grateful if anyone can help me.

"Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that visiting new countries is much easier in today’s world due to technological improvements in transportation. Many people go abroad for different reasons such as having a holiday, attending a business meeting, getting a master’s degree and so on. However, as a result of it, how people should behave within the boundaries of a new culture is a matter of debate. In some people’s opinion, visitors had better take similiar course of action to residents of the society respecting their traditions, while others think that people do not have to feel pressure on themselves overthinking about cultural differences. I will discuss both views in this essay.

For some people, visitors to other countries should be aware that they are in a different environment, and be careful about their actions. Any kind of strange or different behaviour is likely to be considered to be a disrespect for local people. Besides, following local customs may be a good way of showing one’s respect and friendly feelings to inhabitants of the visited country. Therefore, some people believe that visitors should prefer acting in accordance to local people.

On the other hand, many others believe that people should not feel themselves obliged to imitate locals’ lifestyle. As long as disrespectful behaviors are avoided, visitors or tourists should feel themselves free to express their opinions. For instance, If a tourist does not prefer eating pork due to cultural or personal reasons, it would not be fair to insist this person on eating it just because he is in a different country now. It is better for people to feel comfortable when it comes to maintaining their habits and ways of behavior in a different culture.

To conclude, some believes that strangers must act compatible with local people of the country they have visited, while others think that the host country had better become tolerant of different cultures. I agree with the latter, since it helps create stronger bonds between nations."
 

tedmc

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Hi,

I am preparing for IELTS, and this is my sample essay written as an answer [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] to the question below. I would be grateful if [STRIKE]anyone[/STRIKE] someone can help me.

"Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that visiting [STRIKE]new[/STRIKE] other countries is much easier in today’s world due to technological improvements (advancement) in transportation and easy air travel. Many people go abroad for different reasons such [STRIKE]as having a[/STRIKE] for holiday, attending a business meeting,[STRIKE] getting a master’s degree[/STRIKE] pursuing further studies and so on. [STRIKE]However, as a result of it, [/STRIKE] How people should behave [STRIKE]within the boundaries of[/STRIKE] when they are in a new [STRIKE]culture[/STRIKE] country and environment is a matter of debate. In some people’s opinion, visitors [STRIKE]had better [/STRIKE] should [STRIKE]take similiar course of action[/STRIKE] (adjust to/blend in with the local cultures[STRIKE] to residents of [/STRIKE] of people in the society and respect[STRIKE]ing [/STRIKE] their traditions (cultures/customs), while others think that people do not have to feel pressure on themselves overthinking about cultural differences (do not need to bother about conforming to the local cultures). I will discuss both views in this essay.

For some people, visitors to other countries should be aware that they are in a different environment, and be careful (mindful) about their actions (behaviour). Any kind of strange (alien) or different behaviour is likely to be considered to be (perceived as) [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] disrespect [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to the local people. Besides, following the local customs may be a good way of showing one’s respect and friendly feelings (friendship) to [STRIKE]inhabitants[/STRIKE] the people of the [STRIKE]visited[/STRIKE] country. Therefore, some people I believe that visitors should [STRIKE]prefer acting in accordance to [/STRIKE] behave with courtesy and due consideration and respect to the local people and their customs.

On the other hand, [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] others believe that [STRIKE]people[/STRIKE] visitors should not feel [STRIKE]themselves [/STRIKE]obliged to[STRIKE] imitate[/STRIKE] follow the locals’ lifestyle. As long as disrespectful behaviors are avoided, visitors or tourists should [STRIKE]feel themselves [/STRIKE] be free to express their opinions. For instance, If a tourist does not[STRIKE] prefer[/STRIKE] like eating pork [STRIKE]due to [/STRIKE] for cultural or personal reasons, it would not be fair to i[STRIKE]nsist this[/STRIKE] to compel the person [STRIKE]on eating it[/STRIKE] to do so just because he is in a different country now (what do you mean here?). It is better for people to feel comfortable when it comes to[STRIKE] maintaining their habits[/STRIKE] (the choice of food) and[STRIKE] ways of behavior [/STRIKE] how they should behave in a different culture.

To conclude, some people believe[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] that [STRIKE]strangers[/STRIKE] visitors to a foreign country [STRIKE]must act compatible[/STRIKE] should adjust their behaviour to suit the [STRIKE]with [/STRIKE]local people of the country they [STRIKE]have [/STRIKE]visit[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE], while others think that the host country [STRIKE]had better become tolerant of [/STRIKE] should be accomodating of different cultures. I agree with the latter, since it helps create stronger bonds (foster friendly relationships) between [STRIKE]nations.[/STRIKE] countries"

See my corrections above.
 
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