In just a month, an ordinary Brazilian casts (Essay, Part 2)

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Silverhand

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Hello.
Please correct any mistakes in the second part of my story.

In just a month, an ordinary Brazilian casts a digital shadow of over 10 Gb. What does this include? Credit cards, medical records, reading habits, work schedules and the like. Massive data silos track and sort every moment of a person's digital life, revealing how they think, and what they believe. That information could be turned against them at any point or utilized as blackmail. From a marketing and political standpoint, the possibilities are endless. This data is valuable since it can be utilized to attract the attention of consumers towards certain products, and to influence an entire population's world views. AAI straightforwardly links personal information to the physical devices an average citizen uses every day, essentially providing a direct line to laptops, tablets, smartphones, desktop computers because everything is interconnected. If this vast infrastructure were to be exploited by unauthorized parties or ended up in the wrong hands, society, as we know, would collapse.
 

teechar

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- It's GB.
- Consider "used to blackmail them" instead of "utilized as blackmail".
- Consider "focus", "guide" or "direct" instead of "attract".
- I don't understand what you mean by "straightforwardly" in the above.
- Say "as we know it".
 

tedmc

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In just a month, an ordinary Brazilian casts a digital shadow of over 10 Gb

Casts a shadow is usually used in the negative sense, meaning to dampen/spoil/ruin something, which I don't think is what you mean.
How about leaves a footprint?
 
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Tdol

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You might want to let your readers know what AAI is, as many will think it's AI.
 

Silverhand

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Thanks for your suggestions, folks.
I defined what AAI is in the first part of my essay. It stands for Advanced Artificial Intelligence.

May I know why one of my comments was deleted?
 

Rover_KE

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It was ungrammatical, incorrectly punctuated and contained slang expressions.

All your submissions to this forum must be written in standard English.
 
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