Jane continued mopping the floor, thinking about her children.

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Jane continued mopping the floor, thinking about her children. She’d almost finished mopping the kitchen when a knock on the door jolted her out of her reverie. She looked up from the floor to the door. Her heart gave a lurch, beating faster. With an open mouth, she stared at the door. Who in the hell is that? From outside came the footsteps of someone walking away. Jane gulped and slowly rose. Fearfully, she walked to the window and peeked out, seeing a tall figure moving towards the main street. Her curiosity got the better of her and she ran to the kitchen, took a knife and then stepped outside the house. Into the silence, with a trembling voice, she yelled, “Who are you?”

The man stopped, turning around. With slow steps, he moved towards Jane who gripped the knife tighter. Her heartbeat elevated as he walked closer, emerging from the gloom. She squinted in the darkness, making out a familiar face with long white beard. Recognizing the man, her eyes widened and her heartbeat slowed down as her grip on the knife loosened. “Patrick? What brings you here?” she asked, hardly believing her eyes.

 

[emsr2d2]

Is this correct and natural?

Jane continued mopping the kitchen floor, thinking about her children. She’d almost finished mopping the kitchen when a knock on the door jolted her out of her reverie. She looked up from the floor to the door. Her heart gave a lurched, beating faster. With an Open-mouthed, she stared at the door. Who in the hell is that? From outside came the footsteps of someone walking away. Jane gulped and slowly rose. (Rose from where? She wasn't sitting/kneeling.) Fearfully, she walked to the window and peeked out, seeing and saw a tall figure moving towards the main street. Her curiosity got the better of her and she ran to the kitchen, took a knife and then stepped outside into the darkness/night. the house. Into the silence, with a trembling voice, she yelled, “Who are you?”

The man stopped no comma here turning and turned around. With slow steps, He slowly moved stepped towards Jane, who gripped the knife tighter. Her heartbeat elevated increased as he walked closer, emerging from the gloom. She squinted into the darkness, making and made out a familiar face with a long white beard. Recognizing the man, her eyes widened and her heartbeat slowed down as her grip on the knife loosened. “Patrick? What brings you here?” she asked, hardly believing her eyes.