Jane left the pub and headed home.

[alpacinou]

Are these correct and natural?

1. Jane left the pub, and headed home. The city appeared as if it were wrapped in a grainy haze, looking like a 1970's movie.

2. Jane left the pub, and headed home. The moon hung low in the cloudless sky, and the city was draped with a silvery haze.

3. Jane left the pub, and headed home. The moon hovered low in the cloudless sky, draping the city with its silvery haze.

 

[Tarheel]

Are these correct and natural?

1. Jane left the pub, and she headed home. The city appeared as if it were wrapped in a grainy haze, looking like a 1970's movie.

2. Jane left the pub, and she headed home. The moon hung low in the cloudless sky, and the city was draped with a silvery haze.

3. Jane left the pub, she and headed home. The moon hovered low in the cloudless sky, draping the city with its silvery haze.

If you insist on using the comma then you have to use she.

I would prefer in, but I think with is okay.

 

[alpacinou]

If you insist on using the comma then you have to use she.

I would prefer in, but I think with is okay.

What about now?

1. Jane left the pub and headed home. The city appeared as if it were wrapped in a grainy haze, looking like a 1970's movie.

2. Jane left the pub and headed home. The moon hung low in the cloudless sky, and the city was draped in a silvery haze.

3. Jane left the pub and headed home. The moon hovered low in the cloudless sky, draping the city in its silvery haze.

 

[emsr2d2]

Don't use an apostrophe in "1970s". It's a plural, not a possessive.

 

[Tarheel]

OK. Now move on to the next thing (if there is a next thing).
:up: