Letter to a friend - letter - could you help me correcting my letter?

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veneziadrive

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Joined
Mar 4, 2017
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Hungarian
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Hungary
The task:
You would like to invite your friend's child on an adventure weekend away, but you think the mother won't let her because she is overprotective. Write a letter to your friend outlining the benefits of a weekend away and assuring her that all necessary safety precautions will be taken.

My letter:

Dear Anna,

I’m writing to you because I’m planning a weekend in the Alps next weekend, and I’d like to invite your daughter Dorothy as well to join us on this adventure.

Let me tell you about my plans in details. We are planning to leave on Friday right after the kids finish their school classes. Luckily, they only have 4 lessons, so we would be able to leave after lunch. I will be the one who picks them up at school. By that time, I’ll have everything packed in the car - I’ve already made a list and will make sure I don’t forget anything at home. On my list there are different kinds of snacks, drinks, warm blankets, pills, spray against mosquitos, caps, bandages and plasters, just to mention the most important ones.
We are going to spend two nights out there. I’ve already reserved the apartments where we are going to stay. We’ll get meals three times a day, plus sandwiches, which we will take with us when we go hiking. Don’t worry, my husband and my sister are coming with us, so we will watch the kids 24/7.

It’s so wonderful to spend a few days out in the nature, don’t you think? The air is so clear and having trips there is also great for everybody. I know our daughters spend a lot of time together in school, but still it’s different, when you don’t have to worry about your homework, right?
Anyways! We are really counting on Dorothy to join us, so please do not hesitate and let her come and have some marvellous adventures with us.

Best regards,

G.
 

teechar

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Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
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Iraq
Dear Anna,

I’m writing to you because I’m planning a weekend in the Alps next weekend, and I’d like to invite your daughter Dorothy [STRIKE]as well[/STRIKE] to join us on this adventure.

Let me tell you about my plans in detail. We are planning to leave on Friday, right after the kids finish their school. [STRIKE]classes.[/STRIKE] Luckily, they only have 4 lessons, so we would be able to leave after lunch. I will be the one who picks them up [STRIKE]at[/STRIKE] from school. By that time, I’ll have everything packed in the car - I’ve already made a list [STRIKE]and will[/STRIKE] to make sure I don’t forget anything at home. [STRIKE]On my list there are different kinds[/STRIKE] We'll take plenty of snacks, drinks, warm blankets, pills, [STRIKE]spray against[/STRIKE] mosquito repellent, hats, [STRIKE]caps,[/STRIKE] a first-aid kit, and other necessary items. [STRIKE]bandages and plasters, just to mention the most important ones.[/STRIKE]
We are going to spend two nights out there. I’ve already reserved the apartments where we are going to stay. We’ll get meals three times a day, plus sandwiches, which we will take with us when we go hiking. Don’t worry, my husband and my sister are coming with us, and the three of us will keep an eye on [STRIKE]so we will watch[/STRIKE] the kids. [STRIKE]24/7.[/STRIKE]

It’ll be so wonderful to spend a few days out in the nature, don’t you think? The air is so clear and [STRIKE]having trips[/STRIKE] going there [STRIKE]is also[/STRIKE] will be great for everybody. I know our daughters spend a lot of time together in school, but still it’s different when you don’t have to worry about your homework, right?

Anyways! We are really counting on Dorothy to join us, so please do not hesitate and let her come and have some marvellous adventures with us.

Best regards,

G.
.
 
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