Licence

[MAJSH]

As discussed, I spoke to him about the technical licence, He agreed and ready to apply for it if the required documents and registration fees are provided by our company; otherwise, he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company. / He confirms that he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company if we can't provide required documents and bear the expenses.

As I understand from him, the office concerned had suspended the technical test due to pandemic last year. There is theoretical and practical test for this licence. Once we approach the office only we come to know that the test schedule and other further details.

 

[Skrej]

What is your question? Is this something you wrote?

 

[Tarheel]

You have problems with punctuation and word choice.

 

[MAJSH]

Thank you for your help on this. I tried to reword my sentences. Please check and advise me if they are worded correctly.

As discussed, I spoke to him about the technical licence. He agreed and ready to apply for it if the required documents and registration fees are provided by our company; otherwise, he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company. or He confirms that he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company if we can't provide the required documents and bear the cost.

As I understand from him, the office concerned had suspended the technical test due to pandemic last year. There is theoretical and practical test for this licence. Once we approach the office only then we know the test schedule and other further details.

Once again, thank you

 

[Rover_KE]

Always post your own sentences for correction here in Editing & Writing Topics, please.

 

[Tarheel]

I tried to reword my sentences.

Please don't use "tried" that way.

 

[Tarheel]

As discussed, I spoke to him about the technical licence. He agreed and ready to apply for it if the required documents and registration fees are provided by our company; otherwise, he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company. or He confirms that he will not accept our offer and he'll continue with the same company if we can't provide the required documents and bear the cost.

You seem to be either using too many words or not enough. Who did you discuss it with?

Your sentences are too long.

Don't capitalize he in the middle of a sentence unless you are referring to the Deity.

Got to go!

 

[Tarheel]

Get to the point, but even more important than brevity is clarity. Who are you talking about? I suggest that you use the person"s name. Perhaps:

I talked to Bob about this ....

You seem to be using certain words or phrases just because you think they are expected.

 

[Tarheel]

Who agreed to what?

 

[MAJSH]

Thank you all. I tried to correct my sentences. Please check and advise me if they are worded correctly.


As discussed, I spoke to Sabian about the technical licence last week. Sabian agreed and ready to apply for the lience , but the cost and the documents will be provided by the company. Sabian confirms that he can't accept our offer unless we bear the expenses for the licence..

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Thank you all. I tried to correct my sentences. Please check and tell me if they are worded correctly.


As discussed, I spoke to Sabian about the technical licence last week. Sabian agreed and is ready to apply for the licence[no space], but the cost and the documents will be provided by the company. Sabian confirms that he can't accept our offer unless we bear the expenses for the licence.

It's grammatical as corrected.

But it's confusing. In the first sentence, you say Sabian is ready to apply. In the second sentence, you say the company is willing to pay the expenses. So what's the point of the last sentence? Why is Sabian confirming what all three of you know already?

 

[Tarheel]

Thank you all. I tried to correct my sentences. Please check and me tell if they are worded correctly.


As discussed, I spoke to Sabian about the technical licence last week. Sabian agreed, and he is ready to apply for the licence, but the cost and the documents will be provided by the company. Sabian confirms that he can't accept our offer unless we bear the expenses for the licence..

When you say you tried to correct your sentences that says to me that you are not at all sure you succeeded. (You could say you revised them.)

The phrase "As discussed" means nothing. In fact, it's worse than that. It makes the reader (me) wonder who you discussed it with. I suggest that you clarify who you discussed it with or leave that phrase out entirely.

Remember what I said. Brevity is important, but clarity is more important.

Avoid using phrases that say nothing and do nothing.

You can't provide a cost.

The last two sentences contradict each other.

Don't stray too far from your comfort zone.

Don't use words you don't really understand.

People will appreciate it if your message is clear.

Stick to words you understand.