My own translation of articles (method of lerning)

[Kuba89]

Hello everyone!
It is my first post here so I will present myself a little. My name is Kuba and I am living in Poland. Why am I here? To practise my English skills and I have an idea about it.


I would like to translate some articles from "nonsensopedia" (you can google it). It is a Polish satirical portal with untrue news and with a grain of salt.
The point is - I will be very glad if someone will check it and correct me (especially grammar form). I wish I could post it here once in a while. This is my method of learning which I want to try.




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Volkswagen Golf

VW Golf - Extremely popular car of Volkswagen concern. We can say - Golf is a universal and cult machine. Golf 1.6 gasoline version is using usually by an "intelligence", 1.9 TDI is driving by an old man, but in 2.8 VR6 we can see a speed maniacs.
polish people like a version with basic, incredibly dynamic, gasoline engine 1.4 on the FIAT license.


Tuning - Golfs are on the 1st place (before Honda Civic) on the list of mostly tuning cars. This vehicle collecting comments like (the situation with Golf owners, in the front of the grocery store):
- My Golf is prettier.
- No - it's my Golf prettier.
- And I will tell you, my Golf is the greatest!


Then... Three of them drinking together a vodka behind the corner.


Gadgets
Golf has to have:
- Sticker on the rear window "Tuning / Turbo / Alpajn / Pajonier / SPORT";
- Plastic, chrome, mirrors M3 type;
- Neons;
- Blue parking lights;
- Black windows;
- Huge subwoofer;
- LPG installation (illegal);
- American car Plate (found on the garbage)


Using
There is Golf III on the sidewalk. Under the hood engine 1.4 LPG. Old red colour, black mask, huge spoiler and damaged bumpers. Dented body, corrosion, lowered suspension. Young bold men with dark glasses getting in and turning on loud techno music. Left elbow going out through the window and right turn the keys on. Pressing the clutch is not necessary because Golf with 315 thousand kilometers on the mileages does not have a clutch.
Did the engine start? We can figurate it when from the tube having a 30cm diameter coming out the blue cloud of smoke and under the mask we can hear starting Boing 737.
When the car is ready, young men can run with screeching tires and NECESSARILY force priority while turning the traffic. If he does not - He is not as cool as he would like to be.


Exploitation
This car is so easy for using and fixing that it doesn't need a MacGyver assist. You need just hammer and screwdriver to fix it. There is only one thing you should know - When you exchanging a parts like an accumulator, oils, wheels, you have to beware that the coast could be higher than a whole car itself.




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And? What do you think about that?

 

[teechar]

Hello everyone!
It is my first post here so I will present myself a little. My name is Kuba, and I am living in Poland. Why am I here? To practise my English skills in a special way. [STRIKE]and I have an idea about it.[/STRIKE]


I would like to translate some articles from "nonsensopedia" (you can google it). It is a Polish satirical portal with untrue news and articles to be taken with a grain of salt.
The point is I will be very glad if someone will check [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] my writing and correct me (especially my grammar [STRIKE]form[/STRIKE]). I wish I could post [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] here once in a while. This is my method of learning which I want to try.

Hi Kuba89 and welcome to the forum.
I found the translation difficult to follow, so I honestly suggest that you focus more on basic sentence structures at this stage.

 

[Peedeebee]

teechar is totally right! You've got some hilarious material there, Kuba. I can see what most of the jokes are, and I could give it a try at putting it into suitable phrases. But I'm not a comedy writer, and when nearly everything in the article is satirical (comedy with the opposite meaning and rather critical too), it makes it really hard to put into another language. Nearly every phrase would need re-wording, and even then some of the jokes perhaps wouldn't work in another culture.
Just a short example:
Did the engine start? We can figurate it when from the tube having a 30cm diameter coming out the blue cloud of smoke and under the mask we can hear starting Boing 737.
"Have you started her up? Oh, yes! There's the blue cloud coming out of the 30cm exhaust, and I can hear a 737 behind the smoke screen!"
So you see, it's not all that funny even now. I daren't try any more.

 

[Raymott]

Satire is very hard to translate unless you know both languages. I'd stick to straight material for a few more years.

 

[Kuba89]

Thank you guys,
I wanted to make something interesting and funny to that one, who will be reading it. But you have right. I will try translate other short, non satirical (but still interesting I hope) articles and put them into this topic. Maybe some curiosity about my country and culture. Then we will see how it works.

 

[teechar]

Thank you guys,
I wanted to [STRIKE]make[/STRIKE] write something interesting and funny for people to read. [STRIKE]to that one, who will be reading it.[/STRIKE] But you [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] are right. I will try translate other short, non-satirical (but still interesting I hope) articles and [STRIKE]put[/STRIKE] post them on the forum-- [STRIKE]into this topic.[/STRIKE] maybe some curios [STRIKE]ity[/STRIKE] things about my country and culture. Then we will see how it works.

Translating anything, not just satire, is difficult. I reiterate that, in my opinion, you should concentrate at this stage on consolidating your basic writing (not translation) skills.

 

[Kuba89]

Do you mean - just speaking / writing with people? Chatting? Or what kind of "basic writing" are you talking about?

 

[teechar]

I mean basic sentence structure. Have a browse of our Ask a Teacher sub-forum.