[Grammar] My problem is you/your smoking.

[Rover_KE]

shshoo, now that you have made 10 posts, you can send your questions by private message to ChinaDan, who will provide all the help you need.

 

[shshoo]

So you agree with what some other guy said whose coment i dont see here anymore ! "Him coming back" implies he's just come back and "his coming back" means he's going to come ? Am i making the whole thing confusing ? Can we know the intention with no more information . Is it clear enough ? But anyone in charge of this page please dont delete coments as they may help ! I'm just comparing and want to know what a native feels when they hear such sentences .

 

[Rover_KE]

No posts have been deleted.

Please do what I have suggested in post #27.

 

[Matthew Wai]

"Him coming back" implies he's just come back and "his coming back" means he's going to come ?

'Coming' is not a finite verb in either case, so the time is unknown.

 

[TheParser]

NOT A TEACHER


Hello, Shshoo:

I have been a member for a few years, so I would like to share a few ideas with you.

1. Please continue to be a member of this helpline.

2. This kind of question probably should be in the "Ask a Teacher" forum, which is devoted to grammar.

3. If you ask questions in the "Ask a Teacher" forum, it is possible that more members will see your question than will see your question in this "General Language Discussions" forum.

4. Please believe me: some of the members who answer questions in the "Ask a Teacher" forum are very patient, gentle, and respectful.

5. If you receive a reply that you deem to be rude, it is wiser NOT to say anything about it.

*****

I personally hope that you will follow the "rule" that some people follow.

1. Tom: Do you mind me asking you a question?
Mona: Yes, I do, for I do not like you.

2. Tom: Do you mind my asking you a question?
Mona: Of course, not. My job is to answer questions that are asked.


BEST WISHES

 

[Matthew Wai]

3. If you ask questions in the "Ask a Teacher" forum, it is possible that more members will see your question than will see your question in this "General Language Discussions" forum.

The OP had asked the questions on the former, but a moderator moved them to the latter.

 

[Matthew Wai]

1. I like you although I don't like your smoking.
2. Don't get close to me because I don't like you smoking.

The speaker likes the listener in 1 but not in 2.

 

[Matthew Wai]

That is a consequence of making a difference between gerunds and present participles.

 

[ChinaDan]

shshoo, consider this quote...

... there seems little point in worrying about this... ...For practical purposes, there is no discernible difference in meaning.

Really, that is the best answer. There is a discernible difference, but it is very subtle and requires a very advanced command of English to appreciate, let alone use meaningfully. The average native speaker would not, as Piscean says, appreciate or notice the difference.

So, my final answer to you is this. Use either version, unless you have a teacher who prefers one way or the other; then give that teacher what they want.

 

[Matthew Wai]

Actually, I would not have thought up the difference shown in post #34 if the OP had not started this thread.

 

[jutfrank]

You are making a distinction in word class that most modern grammarians don't, and then using that to make a distinction in meaning that most native speakers don't.

But we're not modern grammarians. And you can't really claim to know about 'most' native speakers. It's simply your assumption.

The average native speaker would not, as Piscean says, appreciate or notice the difference.

My own feeling about this (for the record ) is that (most? perhaps all?) competent native speakers do in fact make a distinction of the subtle difference in meaning that has been identified by some of us between, for example, him coming back and his coming back. However, I agree that most people are not very conscious that they do, and would not be easily able to tell you the difference when asked, because we process language, understand it, and produce it (usually) on a deep, unconscious level.

 

[Matthew Wai]

competent native speakers do in fact make a distinction of the subtle difference in meaning that has been identified by some of us between, for example, him coming back and his coming back.

Some average learners like the OP and [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] me also do.

 

[Rover_KE]

I expect you mean 'like the OP and me...', Matthew.

The sentence has a completely different meaning with 'I':

'Some average learners are fond of the OP and so am I'.

 

[shshoo]

I wish you had explained more or would explain more!

 

[shshoo]

That subtle difference. You don't agree though! I asked soemone else.